


The One That Got Away

by cami_soul



Series: The One That Got Away [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: AU, Artist Even, Even is a parent, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pining, Post-Break Up, Scientist Isak, Ten Years Later, UST
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 02:02:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15402525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cami_soul/pseuds/cami_soul
Summary: In this AU Even never reached out to Isak on December 9.  Isak never left the Christmas concert to go find Even.  Even rejected all of Isak’s attempts to reach out to him. Isak came to accept Sonja’s statement that Even never really loved him.  It is ten years later and Isak has just moved back to Oslo to work at the University of Oslo’s, Department of Medical Genetics.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The One That Got Away – Title inspired by Troye Sivan’s Cover of Katy Perry song 
> 
> This is my first fic in this fandom, so please be gentle. I am new to SKAM having only stumbled onto it 3 months ago (I know! What rock was I living under?) but I absolutely adore it and have been ravenously reading all of the wonderful fanfic. I am not Norwegian, although I am trying to learn, please excuse any errors relating to Norway. Things may be confusing at first, but all will be revealed as the story progresses. There will be lots of misunderstandings and miscommunication, but it will have a happy ending. There will be alternating POV in this story. The rating is for later chapters, smut is coming!
> 
> After his Bipolar episode, Even did not return to Nissen, he did home study for the rest of his final year. Even reconciled with his Balloon Squad friends and stays close to them. Isak moved to Trondheim to go to university, got his PhD and then stayed to do research in genetics. Even stayed in Oslo, went to design school and has become a freelance artist. They saw each other only once, in 2021, at Sana and Yousef’s wedding, but Even brought a date and they did not speak to each other. Even has been in a series of short relationships, with both men and women. Isak has given up on love and scratches the itch with grinder hookups and one night stands.

Isak’s POV

No big deal. He could do this. Isak tried to give himself a pep talk, as he was already regretting his latest decision. He had been back in Oslo less than a week, and he would probably be seeing Even today. 

Jonas had been over the moon at his return, and they had been spending almost all of his free hours together. Jonas had twisted his arm, and convinced him to join him and Eva this Saturday afternoon. They were going to a birthday party for Sana and Yousef’s oldest daughter. Eva had insisted Sana would be thrilled to see him, and Isak could admit he would be happy to see her as well. They had maintained a connection over the years, fueled in part because they were both involved in the Norwegian scientific community. But it had been many years since he had seen her in person. 

Jonas and Eva had remained his closest friends. They had frequently spent time together taking shared vacations and visiting each other’s homes. Their children, six-year-old Marius and four-year-old Isabel, call him Uncle Isak and he was proud of that.

Dread filled him when he thought of the inevitability of Even being at this party, he knew Even was still friends with Sana’s brother because she sometimes mentioned him in passing, and he allowed his steps to lag. He had never gotten over the fact that he had turned his whole heart over to someone who had never been interested in having it. He knew he should be over it. He was being ridiculous. It had happened over ten years ago and had only lasted a couple of weeks.

“Come on Uncle Isak!” Marius grabbed his hand and tried to pull him along to catch up with the others. “We don’t want to be late. We might miss the cake!”

Isak looked down at the smiling face surrounded by a cloud of messy black hair so much like Jonas and felt his heart lift, he could get through this, he had his friends with him. He would get this over with. This first meeting. And then it would be done. They would just be some casual acquaintances that had friends in common. It would be fine.

“Well we can’t let that happen, can we?” he answered Marius and swung the little boy up onto his shoulders. He broke into a jog to catch up and Marius squealed delightedly. They were all laughing and joking when they reached the gate into Sana and Yousef’s backyard. 

The large backyard was packed with people and many tables laden with food. The children took off the minute they entered to join the other kids that were laughing and playing. Isak stood behind Jonas and Eva for a minute, using them as cover so he could scan the crowd. He didn’t see Even so he relaxed marginally.

Sana spotted them and made her way over with a big smile, dimples flashing. She was wearing a pretty yellow dress with a matching hijab. After she greeted Eva and Jonas, she turned to Isak. “It’s very good to see you, Isabell,” she teased him. “It’s been too long.”

Isak felt his lips quirk up in an answering smile, “It’s good to see you too, Sanasol. Thanks for letting me crash.” He gestured with his arm to the party around them.

Sana stepped closer and fixed him with a serious expression, “For you, anytime, Isak.” She looked like she was trying to look right into his head. Sana turned her head when she heard her name called and then turned back to Isak, “We’ll catch up later, OK?” She waited until he had nodded slightly before she left. She turned back after only a few steps to urge them to get food. “Please eat! We have so much food. Yousef went a little crazy,” she laughed. 

“That sounds good to me! His food is so good,” Eva gushed and started over to the nearest table. 

“Yeah, let’s get food too,” Jonas said with a questioning glance at Isak. 

“Go ahead. I’ll catch up in a minute,” Isak answered him. He just needed a minute to himself. Jonas had reached the table and was filling his plate with Eva when Isak heard the deep laughter that was seared into his memory. He whipped his head up then and saw a blond head towering above the crowd. Even’s back was to him, but he could see him gesturing wildly with his hands, his laughter booming again and again. Isak was frozen into place. He could barely breathe. Even’s laughter transported him back in time to a sunny windowsill, to the kitchen in the Koletiv, and to an indoor swimming pool. 

Even turned while Isak was still frozen in his tracks, and Isak barely noticed the changes time had made to him because all of his attention was riveted to Even’s chest. Swaddled in a sling across his chest was a baby! Even was a father! Even was married or had a partner, and he had a child! Isak didn’t know why he was so startled, of course it made sense that Even would have a family, but in Isak’s mind, he was still frozen as a beautiful nineteen-year-old. Isak looked frantically around the party, looking for an escape. He just couldn’t deal with this right now. 

He spotted two shade trees in the far corner and made his way there, keeping his head down and not making eye contact with anyone. When he got there he threw himself down onto the blankets that were spread out underneath the trees and heaved a sigh of relief. He should never have come here today. This had been a bad idea. 

“Hei,” a tiny little voice pulled him from his misery. He looked next to him and saw a very small child with a head full of pale blond curls and wearing a pink and white dress. He noticed that she was sitting next to a large basket filled with children’s books and that there were children’s toys scattered on the blankets. 

“Hei,” he said back to the little girl.

She looked at him quizzically, “Who are you?” 

“I’m Isak,” he said and he held out his hand awkwardly. Should you shake hands with small children? He wasn’t sure. 

She stood and grabbed ahold of his hand, her fingers barely wrapping around two of his. With her other hand she picked up the nearest book. Then she turned gracefully, never letting go of his hand, and plopped herself down in his lap. “Read, Isak,” she ordered. 

“Ah, ok,” he responded. This shouldn’t be too hard, he thought. He was used to reading to Marius and Isabel. He opened the book and began to read, hampered only slightly by the fact that she still hadn’t let go of his hand. She sure was a cutie and his heart melted a bit when she relaxed and snuggled into his chest. 

They were on their third book when they were interrupted by a dark-haired woman who sat down next to them. “Mama!” the little girl cried happily, although she didn’t get off of Isak’s lap and tightened her hold on his hand.

“Oh, I’m sorry . . . I wasn’t . . . she asked me to . . .,” Isak began babbling worried that this woman would be upset. 

“No worries, I’m Britta, Amalia’s mama” she smiled at him. “Who do you have there, Mali?” she asked her daughter.

“Isak,” she said defiantly, “my Isak!” She emphasized this by wrapping both hands around his right arm. 

“OK,” Britta laughed, “Don’t worry, Mali, I won’t take him. We’ll see about Papa though.” 

Isak frowned trying to figure out what she was talking about. “I don’t . . .”

He was cut off when she continued talking, “You need to eat Little One, so I’m going to send Papa to get you some food.” 

“No! Isak,” Amalia squeezed Isak’s arm tighter. 

Isak flicked his eyes between Britta and the girl in his lap. “I . . . I could,” he began tentatively, “I can help her get some food. If you want.” He ducked his head and blushed, unsure of himself, “I mean I am used to it with my niece and nephew.”

“Are you sure?” Britta asked with a small smile, “We don’t want to impose.”

“No, I don’t mind. Amalia, do you want to help me get some food? I’m kind of hungry,” he addressed the small girl.

“Yes! Food, Isak!” she jumped up and pulled on his hand until they were moving toward the tables. 

“I’ll just let her papa know,” Britta called out after them.

 

Even’s POV

Even turned at the warm hand that was placed on his shoulder blade. He smiled at Britta, “He’s out cold,” he gestured to the baby wrapped against his chest. “So much noise and he just sleeps through it,” he laughed. 

“Here, I’ll take him,” she reached for the baby sling and unwrapped Even. “You should go and eat. You know how you love Yousef’s cooking.” 

Even’s stomach growled in agreement. “Ok,” he laughed. “Where’s Mali? Has she eaten?” 

Britta adjusted the baby that was now cradled against her and gave him a pleased smile, “Mali is eating now. She found herself a lunch date!”

“What?” Even gasped and put a dramatic hand against his heart. “A date! But she wasn’t supposed to date until she was twenty-five,” he laughed. “I better play the proper papa and interrogate him.” 

He was still laughing as he reached the tables. He looked over to where groups of people were sitting and eating, searching for his daughter’s blond curly head. All of a sudden he found Mali and then the man sitting next to her looked up and his heart skipped a beat. 

Isak looked back at him with a startled expression and Even felt his knees get weak. He grabbed at anything to steady himself and knocked over some glasses on the table he was next to. He slowly walked over to where they were sitting and crouched down near his daughter. “Hey, Angel,” his hand almost engulfed her head as he stroked her curls. 

“Papa!” Amalia turned in her chair and hugged Even. 

Even met Isak’s unblinking stare over the top of her head, as she talked enthusiastically about her lunch, and their gazes locked. When she turned back to her lunch, Isak spoke in a quiet voice. “You’re her father,” it was more statement than question, but Even answered it anyway just for the pleasure of speaking with Isak. 

“Yes,” he said simply. There was so much Even wanted to say, wanted to ask, but he didn’t know how to begin. The party continued around them, but the silence between them lengthened. “Nice chat,” he finally said, hoping Isak would get the reference but he saw no recognition in his face. He was still heartbreakingly beautiful, nose slightly tipped up, the perfect bow of his upper lip and green eyes framed by impossibly long lashes. It shouldn’t be possible for a man to be more attractive as he got older, but Even had the proof of that right in front of him. 

Isak stood up from the table. “I . . . I need to go find Jonas,” he mumbled.

Even stood up quickly and grabbed his wrist to halt him. They both stared at where Even was gripping him until Even let go like it was hot to the touch. “Maybe we can catch up later?” he asked with a tentative smile.

“Sure,” Isak looked down at the ground and walked away without looking back. 

His appetite vanished, Even sunk down on a chair next to his daughter and in a daze listened to her ramble about ‘her Isak’. 

Even felt like crying, but it didn’t make sense. He had a good life. He was happy. He had two beautiful children, a career he enjoyed, good friends, what more could he wish for, really?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the warm welcome to the fandom. Thanks for all the comments and kudos!  
> I'm just so inspired by these two!

Even’s POV

Even lay in his bed, early morning sunlight slanting across the fluffy duvet, and he luxuriated in the quiet. He knew it was only a matter of moments before one of his children awoke and demanded his attention. He took the time now to give himself a much-needed pep talk. Anything with Isak was not going to happen and he just needed to accept that. He had disappeared from Sana’s party before Even could find him again. He had carried the faint hope that Isak had taken one look at him and had wanted to rekindle their old flame. He had been hoping against hope that Isak would get his number from Sana and reach out to him. It had been two and a half weeks since then and now he needed to let it go. 

He had been young and stupid at nineteen. He had made a giant mistake letting Isak go. Even had been filled with so much shame and self-loathing for how he had acted during his manic episode. He had been convinced that if he stayed with Isak, he would just ruin his life.

Now with the distance of ten years, he knew that his illness was manageable, he could have a life just like anyone else. More than that, he knew that Isak had been the love of his life! No other relationship he had had since had measured up and seeing him again at the party, for even those brief moments, had only confirmed this. 

“Papa!” A little blond whirlwind interrupted his ruminations. Amalia ran into his room and jumped onto the bed, her bony little knees catching him in the stomach.  
“Oof, Angel Girl! Be careful with your old papa!” he laughingly warned, scooping her into a tight hug. 

“Not old, Papa! You have your hair!” Amalia grabbed fistfuls of his hair for emphasis. 

“Whoa! Papa won’t have his hair for long if you keep doing that. Let’s go get some breakfast.” Even climbed out of bed and swung his daughter onto his hip. He got her settled in the kitchen with some milk, a sweet roll and some cut up banana before he heard his son waking.

Even walked into the baby’s room and was greeted by happy babble. Stian was trying to suck on his toes and chatting away in his mysterious baby language. He once again thanked, fate or genetics that he had been blessed with such a good-natured son. “Good morning, Little Man,” he greeted. He brought his son close to face and snuggled him earning more delighted baby babble in return. He efficiently changed his diaper and brought him into the kitchen.

He had just gotten Stian settled in his highchair with some mashed banana when he heard Britta’s voice from the front door, “Everyone decent in here?” 

“Mama!” Amalia called back. 

“In the kitchen!” Even called out.

Britta came into the kitchen dressed in a smart grey suit, her hair pulled into a complicated twist. “Morning, Angel,” Britta kissed the top of Amalia’s head. “And you too, Little Man,” she gave Stian a kiss too. 

“Want some coffee?” Even held up the coffee pot and raised his eyebrows. 

“No thanks,” she came over to where Even was standing and squinted at him. “You’re looking a bit rough. Have you called him yet?” 

Even pursed his lips and frowned, turning away to prepare Stian’s bottle, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Well, I’ll say his name if you want but that will only get her all excited,” she tilted her head to nod at Amalia who had not stopped talking about “her Isak” for days after the party. 

Even gave in and turned back to face her, “I’m not gonna call him, Britta. What am I going to say? Sorry I dumped you when I was nineteen and having an episode, I made a mistake and you’re the love of my life?” He twisted his face in a grimace just hearing those words.

“Yes! Yes, that’s a good place to start.” Britta gave him her serious business look but then moved closer and cupped his cheek fondly, “We may not have worked out, but I love you and I want you to be happy.” 

“I am happy,” Even said in a small unconvincing voice. He wrapped his arms around Britta and rested his chin on her head, “I have the kids, I have my work, I have you . . . I’m happy.” 

“But he could make you happier,” she murmured into the front of his shirt. 

“Can you dress, Mali, while I give Stian his bottle?” Even asked trying to change the subject. 

“Come on, Angel Girl, let’s get you cleaned up and dressed,” Britta held out her hand to her daughter. She turned before leaving the room and threw a sassy grin over her shoulder, “Maybe you should just show him the sketchbook that you have that’s filled with hundreds of drawings of him?” She left quickly before Even’s bellow of outrage could turn into words. 

Several minutes later when Even was settled in a comfy chair in the living room, giving Stian his bottle, Britta and Amalia emerged from the hallway. Amalia was clean and dressed and all smiles. “Are we still good for me to take the kids tonight?”

“Yeah, that’s good. Are you picking Mali up today, or am I?” he asked watching his daughter get settled at her small table with some paper and crayons. 

“I’ll get her,” Britta answered. “Then I’ll come by and get Stian. Maybe you will be able to get some work done.” She nodded over to his drafting table in the corner of the large living room. 

“Sounds good,” Even nodded back.

Britta left with kisses for the children and a pat on the cheek for Even. Stian finished his bottle and then Even got the baby cleaned up and dressed. He got himself dressed in his usual jeans and a t-shirt with a hoodie thrown on top. He popped Stian into the baby sling and took Amalia’s hand as they set off for her kindergarten, only a few blocks away. 

Once he had dropped off his daughter, Even decided to take advantage of the beautiful late summer day and walk through the park to his favorite café. He found a seat at an outdoor table and ordered a coffee and lefse with butter and sugar since he hadn’t eaten this morning. Stian was happily entertained bouncing on his father’s knee and eating the baby puffs that Even kept handing to him. 

 

Isak’s POV

Isak ran his hands through his hair in frustration. This was the third apartment he had looked at this morning and it was just awful. Lots of chrome and glass, and just not his style at all. UiO had given him the day off to finally nail down an apartment. He couldn’t sleep in Jonas’ guest room forever, but at this rate, he would never find a place to call home. He liked this neighborhood because it was close to work, but he wasn’t finding any apartments he liked. 

He was tired and cranky, so when he saw an outdoor café up ahead he decided to stop there. It was surprisingly crowded for midmorning, and he turned around looking for an empty table. He noticed Even at the same time that the other man looked in his direction. After a long beat, where they just looked at each other and Isak tried to remember how to breathe, he saw Even raise his hand in greeting and gesture to the empty chair across from him. 

His thoughts whirled frantically as he tried to think of how he could get out of this without looking like a jerk. He had already blown Even off once by leaving the birthday party early. If he walked away now it would be even more awkward the next time they bumped into each other at Sana’s. He tried to appear calm and cool as he walked over toward Even’s table.

“Halla,” Even greeted him, bouncing a chubby-cheeked baby on his lap.

“Hei,” Isak said lowering himself into the empty chair. Even smiled at him so broadly and so sincerely, that it made his chest tighten. The waitress reached the table just then and Isak ordered coffee and a sweet roll. Silence settled over the table when she left. Isak racked his brain for something to say, while Even just kept smiling at him. “So who’s this little guy?” Isak tried for a smile that he was afraid looked more like a grimace. 

“This is Stian,” Even said, his voice filled with pride and love, “my son.” 

“He’s a cutie,” Isak said lightly, the baby’s blue eyes looking so much like Even’s. 

“Thanks,” Even replied. “So what are you doing out in the light of day? Aren’t you scientists always supposed to be toiling away in your secret labs?” Even joked.

Isak rolled his eyes, “They let us out sometimes.” The waitress arrived with his order and this interruption gave him a moment to try and steel himself against Even’s attention. “I’ve been looking at apartments actually,” Isak looked down at his plate and started tearing his roll into little pieces.

“That’s great, have you found anything you like?” Even asked, leaning forward toward Isak.

Isak forced himself to look back up at Even, but it really was more than any person could take, to look at that long graceful neck, those full pink lips, his beautiful blue eyes, and that long silky hair that still defied gravity. Other than a few wrinkles around his eyes and his mouth, which were more pronounced when he smiled, Even hadn’t aged a day. He could hardly believe the man before him was twenty-nine. Isak realized he had been staring a long time and he couldn’t remember the question anymore. “Sorry,” Isak shook his head, “lost my train of thought. What was your question?”

“Have you been able to find any apartments you liked?” Even repeated, without showing any impatience.

“No, it’s been a big waste of time. They’ve all been pretentious, modern, glass and chrome boxes. So sterile! Who wants to live like that?” Isak realized that he may have just insulted Even and his home and so he tried to backtrack. “I mean . . . unless that’s what you like . . . it’s fine for some people if they . . . um, you know . . .”

He was saved from his floundering by Even laughing, “No, I get exactly what you mean. A home needs some character, some history. It needs personality, right?” He looked at Isak and waited until he nodded before continuing. “That’s what I love about my place. It’s been remodeled but they kept the high ceilings, the original wood trim, and the claw-foot bath. Hey!” Even sat up straight and his smile filled his face and crinkled up his eyes, “You should come and look at my building! There is an available apartment. I think it’s on the third or fourth floor. Can you hold Stian?” Even handed him the baby while he rummaged around in the backpack near his feet. 

Isak’s hands closed around the soft weight of the baby. He started to wobble a bit so Isak drew him against his chest. It had been a while since Marius and Isabel were this small, he had forgotten what it was like to hold such a tiny person. Stian looked a little startled to be with a strange new person, so Isak turned him to face Even and tried to reassure him, “Don’t worry little guy, there’s your papa. He’s still right there. It’s ok.”

Even had succeeded in fishing a piece of paper and a pen out of the bag. “Here’s the address. It’s right on the other side of this park. And here is the name and number for the manager, he lives in the building too. Very convenient. Tell him I sent you, I’ll vouch for you.” Even looked up from where he was writing on the paper and caught Isak’s eyes with his, “I could go with you if you want. Show you where it is . . . introduce you to the manager?” Even looked at him with expectant hopeful eyes. 

Yeah, that was not going to work for Isak. Even was just being nice and all Isak could think about was jumping his bones. And this was while holding Even’s baby for god’s sake! “Ah . . . I, ah . . . I don’t think,” Even’s face started to fall with Isak’s words. “I mean, thank you . . . but, ah . . . I have another appointment right now, but I’ll, ah, call the manager. Thanks for the tip.” 

Even slid the paper over the table toward Isak and he reached to take his son back. “It would be great to have you living there. I’m on the second floor, 2B,” he said in a much more subdued tone. “My number’s at the bottom. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” He took Stian back into his arms.

“Yeah, I’ll, ah . . . I’ll do that,” Isak drained his coffee and then stood up. He shoved the paper into his pocket. “I should go now. It was nice to see you.” It was such a bland statement and didn’t convey even half of what Isak was feeling at the moment, but he didn’t know how to put any of it into words and ‘nice to see you’ was all he could come up with. 

“It was good to see you too, Isak,” Even’s voice was deep and husky. Pitched to send shivers down Isak’s spine when he said his name. Isak turned then and walked away before he was tempted to throw himself into the other man’s arms, here and now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded lines are Even texting.

Isak’s POV 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!! Isak was so fucked! The apartment was perfect! He had even looked at some more apartments afterward hoping against hope that he could find something else. But no. Nothing else compared. Even was right. The apartment had high ceilings, original hardwood floors, large windows with wide windowsills, and a large claw-foot tub next to an equally large newly tiled shower stall (both large enough to hold Isak and a friend at the same time.) It had a large main living space and two good sized bedrooms. The kitchen had all new appliances. In addition, it was close to work and just a block away from the tram line. 

It was perfect. Except for one major detail. Even and his family lived on the second floor. Granted the building was fairly large, about fifty apartments total. Surely he wouldn’t bump into Even that often. But he knew it would be torture every time he saw him happy with his family. It would be like seeing him with Sonja all over again. How often would he see them though? In all honesty, he had hardly ever seen any of his neighbors in his apartment in Trondheim. And the one in Even’s building had truly been the best apartment by far.

When he had finally given in and arranged to rent the apartment, he knew he had to say something to Even. He decided to text. Keep it short and sweet. All business.

‘Hey Even. Thanks for the tip. I took the apartment.’

Even’s reply came instantaneously.

**‘That’s terrific, Isak! You’re going to love it here. Can I help you move your stuff in?’ ******

********

********

Isak had to take a deep breath and put down his phone, his hands were shaking so badly. Whoa, Even wanted to help him move in. Yeah, he wasn’t going to torture himself that way. 

‘That’s ok. I don’t have a lot. Jonas and I can get it.’

**‘Okay. Well, let me know if you change your mind. Maybe you can come by for a beer sometime. I’m in 2B.’ ******

********

********

‘Yeah, sure. Thanks again. Ttyl’

**‘Bye, Isak. Hope to see you soon.’ ******

********

********

 

Even’s POV

Even walked in a daze from his living room into his bedroom and flopped back onto the bed. He lay there staring at the ceiling cradling his phone to his chest. Isak was moving in. Isak was really moving in. Not that it meant he would actually talk to Even, he had brushed off his offer to help move, very quickly. But maybe? Maybe over time, they could become friends again? God, he had sounded so desperate! Can I help you move? Gah! Who does that? Isak would probably avoid him for that reason alone. 

Britta would lose it when he told her. He hadn’t mentioned that he had seen Isak when she had picked up the kids, not wanting to catch shit for it. Ever since she had met Isak in person, she had been all over him to do something about the feelings that lurked around in his heart. 

She had become a good friend. His best friend really. He would never have imagined it when they first met. Five years ago they had been dating casually when Britta had unexpectedly become pregnant. She had decided to have the baby and Even had been thrilled and terrified all at the same time. Unfortunately, they had broken up before she was even seven months along.

It turns out they were shit at dating but they were excellent co-parents. Britta included Even in all of her appointments, and Even was there for her every step of the way. And the day his daughter was born was one of the best days of his life. Britta had a fairly intense career and wanted to return to work a month after Amalia was born, so Even took paternity leave and stayed home with their baby for most of her first year. After a few months of sharing custody, Britta decided to get an apartment in the same building as Even and that had made shared parenting even easier. 

When Amalia was two, Britta sat Even down and told him that she did not want Amalia to be an only child and would he want to have a second child with her. With no long-term partner in sight, Even agreed and they had had Stian. 

They got really good at this co-parenting thing. Even was the children’s primary caregiver, but they were flexible with each other and Britta usually had the children with her two or three nights in the course of a week. They celebrated holidays and special occasions altogether as a family, with Britta joining with Even, the kids and his parents. 

Even was supposed to be taking this time today to get some work done, the kids were with Britta and his apartment was quiet. But all he could do instead was lay on his bed mooning over a man who was doing his best to avoid Even. Maybe he should try and arrange some sort of ‘accidental’ meeting at the mailboxes in the lobby? That seemed to work in the movies. Even would have to give this some serious thought.

 

Isak’s POV

Isak was backed into the corner of Jonas’ living room with a beer in one hand and a fit guy sucking on his neck. The music swirled around him and he floated in his head, a combination of the beer he had already drunk and the weed he and Jonas had pre-partied with. The guy was young and cute, Isak had found him on Grinder. 

Jonas and Eva were throwing him a welcome back party. This was a grown-ups only party, their kids were the grandparents for the night. Isak knew there would be all sorts of people there that he knew from Nissen, and even the possibility of Even making it onto the guest list, so he had not wanted to show up without a date. He had not wanted to be the sad lonely guy surrounded by all of his couple friends.

So he had brought the guy from Grinder, Isak couldn’t even remember his name, and maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea because the way this guy was clinging to him, Isak couldn’t even really socialize with his friends. And anyway, it had turned out that plenty of them were still single too. He almost felt like sending the guy home, but even he wasn’t quite that cold. He was going to have to tear himself away soon though because he saw that Jonas was talking to what looked like Mahdi and Magnus, and he really wanted to catch up with those guys.

He turned his head when Grinder Guy moved to the other side of his neck, and his eyes caught sight of Even. He was standing still, just on the inside of the doorway. 

His brows were lowered and his shoulders hunched, a frown turning down the corners of his gorgeous lips. Their eyes locked and Isak felt powerless to look away. After what seemed like hours but must have been only a few minutes, Even broke his gaze away and shook his head before he turned and walked back through the doorway.

Isak was eventually able to break away from Grinder Guy and catch up with his friends, spending extra time with Magnus and Mahdi. And even though he kept his eyes peeled for the rest of the night, he didn’t see Even again. Grinder Guy ended up going home with someone else and Isak couldn’t drum up enough emotion to care. 

The party had died down and he and Jonas were sitting on the back steps enjoying one last beer and a quiet moment together. Isak had opted to stay the night here instead of making his way back to the new apartment. “I thought that I saw Even, but then he was gone,” Isak tried to casually slip into the conversation. 

Jonas just looked at him, “What’s the deal with you two anyway? Are you having another ‘thing’?”

“Nothing! There’s nothing,” Isak said defensively. “I just thought I saw him and then he was gone. That’s all. No big deal,” he kept protesting. 

“Well he was here,” Jonas said, “but he had to leave pretty quickly. Said one of his kids was sick.” Jonas looked at Isak speculatively. 

“Oh,” Isak turned his head away so Jonas could not read his every thought.

“He said to say hi to you, though,” Isak whipped his head around at Jonas’ words. But at Jonas’ smirking ‘I told you so’ look, Isak looked away again. 

“Whatever,” Isak muttered under his breath. It didn’t matter anyway. Even was taken. He was just being friendly and Isak needed to let it all go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of the positive comments and kudos!!! They fill me with joy! C-

Isak’s POV

Two weeks after his welcome back party, Sana’s brother Elias had a party and Isak had been invited. This time he had not brought some random guy from Grindr with him. He had had a nice time catching up with more old friends but Even had not shown up. Isak had not had the guts to ask either Elias or Sana about why he wasn’t there, so instead, he spent the whole party on edge expecting to see him at any moment. 

Some more weeks had passed since then, over a month since he had moved into the new apartment, and Isak had seen nothing of Even. Today was a Thursday and Isak had gotten off of work earlier than usual. He was making his way through the lobby when he saw that the elevator doors were closing. “Hold the elevator!” he called out. He ran the last few steps and slid into the small compartment.

“Isak! Isak!” a small voice cried out. Isak turned to see Amalia reaching out toward him, in her eagerness to get to him, she was almost falling out of the arms of the man who was holding her. Instinctively he reached out and caught the small girl. “Isak! Isak!” she repeated as she squeezed him tightly. 

“Hi, Amalia,” he said, overwhelmed by her affection. He quickly pushed the button for the third floor. 

“Hi Isak,” he looked over and saw Britta smiling at him. She was holding Stian and standing with the man who had been holding Amalia. Isak had never seen him before, he was muscular with short dark hair. “This is Jens,” she gestured to the man next to her. 

“Hi, I’m,” he began before he was interrupted.

“Isak, I heard,” laughed Jens.

Feeling all kinds of uncomfortable with Even’s family and this strange man, Isak turned back to the elevator panel. He noticed only the three and the five were lit up. “Do you need the second floor?” he turned and asked Britta.

“No,” she answered looking at him quizzically.

“Oh, sorry. I must have misunderstood. I thought Even said your apartment was on the second floor,” he closed his mouth before he could babble some more. 

“Oh,” she chuckled, understanding dawning in her eyes. “Yeah, Even’s apartment is on the second floor. Mine is on the fifth floor.” When the frown remained on Isak’s face, she clarified, “Even and I are not together, Isak.” Seeming to emphasize the point, Jens wrapped his arm around her waist. 

“Okay,” Isak responded automatically. His brain could not process this information. Even was free! Even was not in a relationship! The elevator pinged and the doors opened to the second floor. “Sorry, I have to go, Little One,” he said to Amalia, trying to hand her back to Jens. Amalia, however, was not cooperating and her arms remained wrapped around his neck. 

“Isak needs to go, Baby,” Britta tried to intervene. 

“I’ll come and see you later,” Isak promised with a smile, and she finally let go and went to Jens. 

Britta stopped him from leaving with a hand on his arm, “You should go by and say hello. The kids are with me, and Even’s home alone. He could use some company.” She smiled winningly at Isak, “It’s apartment 2B.”

“Yeah, sure,” Isak mumbled, his brain still not able to process all of this new information. 

When Isak got into his apartment, he collapsed into the nearest chair. His mind raced. Even wasn’t taken. He had kids but no wife or partner. He was free. He had been friendly to Isak. He had wanted to help him move. He had invited him for a beer. Maybe . . . maybe? 

But Even had walked away from him once before. There was nothing to say he was interested in Isak now. Isak just wanted to get him out of his head. Maybe if they talked and spent some time together, the shine would fade and Even would be just another guy. And the idea of him wouldn’t tie Isak’s guts into knots. 

Resolved to at least go and talk to him, Isak showered and changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a soft dark grey t-shirt that had a wide neckline and showed his collarbone. Not that he was dressing up or anything. 

Before he could lose his courage, he grabbed two beers from his fridge and left his apartment. Too quickly he was standing in front of the door to 2B. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. 

 

Even’s POV 

The knock at the door pulled Even’s attention from the project he was currently working on, an updated logo and other graphics for a local restaurant. He rolled back from the drafting table in the corner and padded over to the door in his bare feet. He was wearing a very old and very soft grey hoodie along with some faded jeans that consisted of more rips and holes than not at this point, but he was comfortable and since he hadn’t been buzzed from the lobby it could only be Britta or Jens running down for something for the kids and he couldn’t be fussed to worry about how he looked for them. He opened the door without looking through the peephole and received a shock. Isak was standing at his door holding two beers. He schooled his features into what he hoped was a neutral expression. 

“Hei,” Isak said with a tentative smile in Even’s direction. 

He looked heartbreakingly beautiful and made Even’s heart race as if he had been running. His curls were damp and clinging to his neck, and the shadow of his collarbone made Even want to lick and suck. Even tried to speak but his voice came out as a croak and he had to try again, “Halla . . . I thought you were Britta.” 

“No . . . just me,” Isak held up the beer, “I thought maybe we could have that drink you talked about.” When Even remained frozen at the door, he added, “Can I come in?”

“Oh! Sure, sure. Come in, of course,” Even backed up and let Isak through. He waited while Isak toed off his shoes and then led him into the living room. Even shoved his hands into his pockets feeling awkward and out of place in his own home. He had no idea what the hell Isak was doing there. It had been over a month since they had spoken last, and that had been through text. And the last time he had laid eyes on him, some muscular young stud was wrapped around him like a second skin. No way Even could compete with that.

“Do you have an opener?” Isak asked, holding up the two bottles.

“Yeah, sure,” Even rushed into the kitchen to get the bottle opener. “Here you go,” he walked back and handed it to Isak. 

Isak the popped the caps off of both bottles and handed one to Even. “Skol,” he tapped his bottle to Even’s. 

“Have a seat,” Even waved toward the couch and took a seat in the armchair next to it. 

They sat sipping their beer and staring at the floor for a few minutes. Finally, Isak broke the silence, “Nice place.”

“Thanks . . . I . . . do you like yours?” Even asked awkwardly, looking everywhere but at Isak. He had no idea what to say. He didn’t know why Isak was here after ignoring him for so long. It certainly wasn’t for lack of company, judging from what he had seen at Jonas’ party. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s great,” Isak paused and took a deep breath, “thanks again for the recommendation. I thought we could . . . maybe . . . catch up?” Isak swallowed and looked back down at the bottle in his hands. “I mean . . . It’s been a long time.” 

Even relaxed marginally. He could do this. He could catch up with an old friend, lover, whatever the hell Isak was. “So genetic research, huh?” he asked knowing if he could get Isak talking about science it would take over the conversation. 

Isak told him all about his time in Trondheim and got excited when he talked about his work. He told him about his new job and his hopes for this position and what he wanted to accomplish. He told him stories about Jonas and Eva and their two kids. In turn, Even filled him in on design school and his current work as a freelance artist. He talked about his kids, to be honest, he gushed about them. He talked about Elias, Mikael, and the others. By some silent accord, neither one spoke about dating or any significant others. Even went and got two more beers from the fridge, and they kept talking. They kept it light, nothing that could bruise either of their hearts. 

“Are you happy to be back?” Even asked when there was a lull in the conversation. He watched as a frown passed over Isak’s face and he wondered what that was about. 

“Yeah . . . I mean . . . I’m not that kid anymore, so . . . it’s been different, you know?” Isak looked up and locked eyes with Even a small smile on his face, “I’m glad I ran into Britta today.”

“Wha, what do you mean?” Even asked with confusion.

“I saw her earlier. In the elevator, and she suggested I come by and see you,” Isak said.

“Oh,” was all Even could manage as he felt his heart sink once again. This hadn’t been Isak’s idea after all. Britta had meddled. He could hardly look at Isak now. This had been nothing but a friendly neighborly visit prompted by someone else. “Hey, I’m sorry but I really need to get back to what I was working on,” Even made a vague gesture toward his drafting table. 

“Oh, right! Of course. Sorry, I took up so much time,” Isak stood and made his way quickly over to his shoes. 

“No, no. It was nice, I just have to finish,” Even said weakly, feeling miserable. “Thanks for coming by.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later,” Isak said briskly as he opened the door, all traces of his smile gone. 

Even felt sick to his stomach, but he couldn’t just let Isak leave like this. “Maybe we could get coffee again sometime?” Even called to Isak’s back. 

Isak turned around slowly, “Yeah, coffee,” he nodded, “sounds good. See you.” He gave a small wave and headed back down the hall.

Even shut his door and then sagged against it. This was all so fucked up! Even knowing that Isak wasn’t interested, it couldn’t stop his heart from wanting him so much. He rubbed at the ache in his chest, he needed to get over this. Like right now!


	5. Chapter 5

Isak’s POV

Britta’s text couldn’t have come at a better time. Isak needed a new strategy. Even had shot him down the last two times he had texted asking to go get a coffee. Since this clearly wasn’t working he needed a new plan and Britta had given him the perfect opening. Even couldn’t turn him away if it concerned his kids, could he?

She had texted him, “Hope you don’t mind. Stole your number from Even. Just wanted to remind you that you promised to visit Amalia – and she won’t stop talking about it!” Then she had added about a hundred exclamation points for emphasis. He had jumped on the excuse and had asked when he should visit. She had told him that tonight would be good, the kids were with Even. He took time on his lunch break to buy a book about a girl who likes to draw for Amalia and some sort of purple octopus toy for Stian. 

17:25 found him once again standing in front of apartment 2B and rocking nervously on his feet. He had a gift clutched in each hand and he took some slow deep breaths while he tried to calm his racing heart. Before he lost all courage and ran back to his own apartment, Isak raised his hand and knocked.

Long moments passed and Isak was debating between knocking again and texting Britta to double check things. He had just raised his hand to knock again when it was pulled open by a visibly frazzled Even. He had a tea towel tucked around his waist, was bouncing Stian on his hip, and his normally styled hair was untidy and falling in his face. “Honestly Britta, why didn’t you just come straight in. This is more . . . Isak!” His eyes widened and his mouth fell open when he saw who it was. Then his mouth pressed into a straight line before he spoke, “Sorry, Isak, this isn’t a great time . . .”

Even was interrupted by a fluffy blond streak shouting, “Isak, Isak, Isak!” Amalia came barreling down the hallway and threw herself at Isak’s legs, wrapping her arms tightly around them. 

“Look, Isak,” Even shoved his free hand through his already messy hair and raised his voice to be heard above his daughter’s squealing and his son starting to cry, “I’m in the middle of cooking dinner and the kids are in a mood.” 

“Look, Papa! It’s Isak! My Isak!” Amalia crowed, grinning up at her father. 

Stian’s wail got louder and Isak knew that bold action was needed, if he let Even push him out now it would be that much harder to ever get back in. He moved into the apartment forcing Even to take a step backward. He reached up and plucked Stian from his father’s arms and grabbed Amalia’s hand. “Let’s go read this new book to your little brother,” he suggested to Amalia as he started walking down the hall. “You go finish dinner, I got this,” he said over his shoulder to Even, hoping that he wouldn’t call him out on this huge bluff. 

“Shoes, Isak,” Amalia reminded him, so he kicked them off halfway down the hall. Even was still standing next to the open door, but Isak refused to acknowledge it. Even couldn’t kick him out if his children were wrapped around him, now could he? 

He brought Amalia over to the couch and handed her the book. He sat down and bounced Stian on his knee, distracting him with the octopus toy. Stian grabbed for a leg and stuffed it in his mouth chewing happily. ‘That works,’ thought Isak. He heard noises from the kitchen and assumed that Even was back to cooking. 

“This is a book about a very special little girl,” he told Amalia. The girl in the story also had blond hair so Isak changed the character’s name to Amalia. By the time he was halfway through, she had crawled up on the other half of his lap and he was balancing two children in his arms. Amalia’s soft curls kept brushing his cheek and Stian seemed to fit perfectly in the crook of his elbow.

When they finished the story, Amalia demanded, “again, Isak!” The second time through he embellished the story a bit and made silly voices, much to Amalia’s delight. 

“Time to wash up, Mali,” Even’s voice rang out in the room. Amalia eagerly ran off the couch and headed to the bathroom. Even stood staring at Isak with an unreadable expression on his face. “Thank you,” he said quietly. 

Isak’s throat seemed to close up and he could only nod in return. 

“You . . . ah, you can stay for dinner, if you want?” Even asked. “It’s not much, just pasta, but Mali likes it.”

“Sounds good,” Isak stood with Stian and walked over to Even. The nerves he had had at the door were back. He cuddled the baby to his chest to calm himself. Stian was shaking his octopus and gurgling happily. 

“He likes you,” a tiny smile crept over Even’s face. “Both my kids do.” Even reached out a hand and then dropped it. Even turned to go back to the kitchen and called over his shoulder, “Can you put him in the highchair?”

The meal surprised Isak with how enjoyable it was. Amalia kept them entertained with stories from her kindergarten, all about a very naughty boy called Markus. Even smiled at Isak over Amalia’s head, teeth flashing and eyes crinkling up. 

“Papa? Is Isak your boyfriend?” Amalia asked with a smile. 

Isak started choking on the sip of water he had just taken. Even spared him a quick glance before answering, “No, Mali, he’s not. Why do you ask that?”

The little girl held up both hands and gestured to the table, “Jens eats with us, and Jens is Mama’s boyfriend. Isak eats with us, so Isak is Papa’s boyfriend.” She looked up at both of them expectantly. 

Even chuckled at his daughter’s logic, “Mali, friends can eat with each other too. Isak is just a friend.” Isak looked down at his plate, not sure why that statement stung so much. 

“Isak should be your boyfriend, Papa. Isak is nice. I like him!” Amalia grinned at Isak and her eyes crinkled up so that she looked just like her father. 

“Well, I like you too, Mali,’ Isak beamed back at her, all his dimples on display, “Maybe I can be your boyfriend? Hmm?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and made her laugh. 

“No, silly,” she answered while giggling, “You are for Papa!”

They finished the meal without any more startling pronouncements from Amalia. 

“Thanks for eating with us, Isak, but it’s bath time and I still need to give Stian his bottle,” Even was clearly dismissing Isak and Isak didn’t like it. He wasn’t ready to return to his quiet lonely apartment. 

“Why don’t I give him the bottle?” Isak volunteered. 

“Thanks, but I’m sure you have other things to do,” Even was wiping pasta sauce off of Amalia while he spoke. As if on cue, Stian started wriggling in his highchair and crying. 

“No problem,” Isak scooped Stian up out of his highchair before Even could protest. “Is the bottle already made?” he asked, raising one eyebrow. He could do this, he had had plenty of practice with Marius and Isabel. 

“It’s in the warmer,” Even nodded his head over to the counter and gave Isak a look that plainly said ‘I hope you know what you are doing’. Then he hustled Amalia out of the room and down the hallway. 

 

Even’s POV

Amalia happily splashed in the bathtub while Even sat on the floor next to it having a crisis. Right now Isak Valtersen was in his living room, feeding his son. Even was tempted to pinch his arm to see if he was dreaming. What else could it be when the man of his dreams had been in his home all evening and didn’t seem eager to leave.

Even had no idea what he wanted, why he was there at all? Maybe he was just feeling grateful for the apartment recommendation? Or maybe Britta had manipulated him into visiting again? Or maybe . . .? No. Even couldn’t let himself consider that Isak had wanted to spend time with him. That path was the path to easy heartbreak. Those smiles at dinner had been merely polite. 

Even pried Amalia out of the tub, got her dried and into her pajamas. He was sitting on her bed getting ready to read a story when she hopped up and ran out of her room. She ran back quickly with the book Isak had given her clutched in her hands. “Read this one, Papa,” she insisted. When Even read the main character’s name as Astrid, his daughter made sure he understood that it really said, Amalia. 

When she was finally tucked in and settled for the night, Even crept quietly down the hall to the living room. The sight that he was met with made his heart stutter. Isak was standing over by Even’s drafting table looking at all of the notes and drawings Even had tacked on the wall. He was swaying slightly back and forth, with Stian sleeping on his shoulder, and rubbing gentle circles on the baby’s back. 

Even felt like a kid at Christmas with his face pressed against the toy store window. This . . . this was everything he had ever dreamed of in that secret part of his heart. He had to get Isak out of here quickly before he did something stupid like blurt out his love and beg him to never leave.

“Thanks, Isak,” Even walked briskly into the room and reached out his arms for his sleeping son. 

Isak turned but didn’t hand him over. “I had forgotten,” he said with wonder in his voice, “about the wonderful weight of a sleeping baby in your arms.” He smiled a small quiet smile at Even. 

The lump in Even’s throat was too big to speak around so he didn’t say anything and only reached out once again for his son. Once he had Stian transferred into his arms he nodded at Isak. When he spoke his voice came out more huskily than he had intended, “Thanks again for your help tonight, Isak. I’ll see you later.” He turned and left the room before the tears prickling at the back of his eyes could fall. 

He got Stian settled in his crib pretty easily. He was so tired that he was tempted to go straight to bed and just leave the mess in the kitchen until tomorrow, but he knew it would make for a much more pleasant morning if he took care of it now. 

When he reached the kitchen he stumbled in shock. The table was cleared, the dishes were in the dishwasher, and there was Isak standing at the sink washing the pots and pans. He didn’t understand what he was still doing there. 

Even walked over and leaned against the counter near where Isak was working. Isak flicked his eyes over to Even then he looked back down at the sink. “You didn’t need to do this. Thank you,” Even said quietly, his voice a low rumble in the quiet room. 

Isak rinsed one of the pans and then put it on the drying rack. When he finally spoke his voice was quiet, “No problem.” He kept his eyes focused on the pan in his hands. 

Even was hit by the fact that they were finally alone together. He turned so that his hip was resting against the counter and he was now facing Isak. “We could have dessert? If you want?” Even suggested. Isak kept working diligently and didn’t answer. Even took a step closer, so that they were now less than a foot apart. He looked down at the top of Isak’s head. “I have . . . strawberries and cream,” Even said hoping to find something that would make Isak want to stay longer. He slowly slid his right hand over to the edge of the sink in front of Isak. 

“Strawberries,” Isak repeated in a whisper. He tilted his head and looked up at Even through his eyelashes, an unreadable expression in his eyes. He looked back down at the sink, his hands now motionless in the soapy water. 

Even wanted to kiss him so badly, but was afraid to ruin this tenuous truce they seemed to be having. But, god his lips looked so perfect. The perfect curves of his upper lip that Even could still remember sucking into his mouth and tracing with his tongue. Even couldn’t help himself, he moved closer and bent down, Isak’s curls brushed against his cheek. Isak started to lift his head and Even could feel his warm breath gust across his own lips. 

A loud bang from the other room caused them to move apart and turn toward the doorway. “Shit! Sorry,” Even could hear Britta’s voice. “I hope I didn’t wake . . .” her voice trailed away as she came into the kitchen and saw the two men. “Sorry, I tripped,” she said vaguely gesturing to the other room. “Hi Isak!” she said brightly.

“Hi . . . uh, I should go,” Isak was moving toward the doorway as he spoke. “I’ll see you, Even,” he said as he left the room. 

Neither spoke as they heard the front door open and close. Even was still reeling from their almost kiss, so he hadn’t even managed a word before Isak had bolted. He stood and stared at where Isak had just been standing by the sink. 

“Fuck, Ev! I’m sorry. I had no idea he would still be here. I was coming to find out if he had even come by,” Britta frowned as she slumped in a kitchen chair.   
Even scrubbed both of his hands through his hair and took a deep breath, “What are you talking about, Britta? Why would you think he would come by here?” 

“Don’t get pissed, Even,” She held up a hand at him, “I texted him to remind him that he had promised Mali a visit.”

“Britta! What the hell?” Even couldn’t believe that once again the only reason Isak had come to see him was that Britta had told him to! “Britta, you’ve got to stop messing around in this. He doesn’t want to be around me, and you have to stop interfering.” 

“That’s not what I just saw,” Britta said with a smirk. “You two looked awfully guilty when I came in.” She gave Even a knowing smile.

“Nothing happened,” Even protested, “I thought maybe . . . there was . . . something. But no. He left pretty quickly. Just, please, keep out of it.”

“I am making no promises,” Britta said as she looked at Even speculatively.


	6. Chapter 6

Even’s POV

Even was standing at the sink filling a glass with water. He wasn’t drinking tonight. He hadn’t seen Isak in two weeks, not since the night he had stayed for dinner, but he had known he would be at tonight’s party. The disruption of having Isak back in town was a lot to handle, and he didn’t want to do anything on top of it that might trigger an episode, so he was drinking only water tonight. So far he had managed to avoid a direct conversation, but he doubted that would last all night. He turned with his glass to lean against the counter and take a sip. 

“Even! Eeeeeeven!” Isak was obviously not abstaining tonight and was already drunk off his ass. “Heeeeere you are! Was looking for you!” Isak made his way unsteadily over to where Even was standing. 

Even set his glass down on the counter thinking he might need two hands to deal with Drunk Isak. “Why were you looking for me, Isak?” he asked with a chuckle because Drunk Isak was adorable AF. His hair was messy and falling across his face, his mouth was curved into a goofy grin, and his eyes were bright. 

“Wanted to tell you some . . . someth’n, oof!” Isak tripped taking his last step and fell into Even. He dropped his empty beer can and clutched onto Even’s shirt with both hands, his fingers twisting into the fabric. 

“Whoa, easy there,” Even grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him. The muscles felt good under his hands. Isak had filled out quite a bit since he was seventeen and Even swallowed a groan.

“Sssss’all your fault!” Isak told the logo in the middle of Even’s shirt. 

“What’s my fault, Isak?” Even asked patiently, using a voice that he would use with Mali. 

“Ssssss’your fault . . . can’t forget,” Isak freed one hand to poke a demanding finger at Even’s chest. He looked up into Even’s face, “Oh,” he said wondrously. The poking hand moved up and traced along Even’s jaw, then he slid a finger across Even’s bottom lip. 

Isak’s touch left a trail of prickling awareness across Even’s skin. Even resisted the temptation to bite that finger. Instead, he grabbed Isak’s wrist to stop his exploration. “That’s enough, Isak.” 

“No! Ssss’not!” Isak wrenched his arm free of Even’s hold and grasped his jaw roughly. “Your fuck’n mouth, Even! Can’t fuck’n forget!” Isak slid his hand to the back of Even’s neck and pulled abruptly, making their mouths collide unexpectedly. Isak whimpered into his mouth, let go of his shirt and threaded that hand through Even’s hair holding him securely in place while his lips sucked on Even’s. 

Even was only human, and if he took a moment to savor the feel of Isak’s mouth on his again after all these years, well no one else would know. His lips were soft, oh, so soft! They rubbed and stroked over Even’s. Isak licked at the seam of Even’s mouth trying to find entrance. Even pulled back a tiny bit and gasped out, “Isak!” whether as a warning or a plea even he wasn’t sure. 

Isak took advantage of that opening to finally slide his tongue into Even’s mouth and rub against his tongue. All Even wanted to do was wrap his arms around the other man and pull him against his body, but he resisted. Isak was drunk and he would regret this when he was sober. There was no way Even could take advantage of him like this. He tried to gently push Isak away, but Isak was strong and determined and Even’s willpower was fading. Isak pushed a leg between Even’s and started grinding his hard cock against his hip. He moaned into their kiss and tightened his grip on Even’s hair.

Before he gave in to the temptation to grab Isak’s ass and hold him there, Even moved his hands so they were gripping the edge of the counter. He closed his eyes and gave in to the sensations of Isak’s hard body pressed against him and his warm mouth kissing him. It was wrong, he knew, but it felt so good to have Isak touching him like this again. 

“Want you . . . want your mouth . . . want you so much,” Isak began groaning between kisses. “Mine . . . want . . . mine!” Isak broke away from their kiss and trailed his lips down Even’s throat, stopping when he reached his Adam’s Apple. “Mark you,” he muttered before latching his mouth on Even’s skin and sucking hard. Even felt his knees buckle and he tightened his grip on the counter until his knuckles turned white. Arousal surged through his body and he was moments away from tossing Isak onto the table and dry humping him.

The noise at the door pulled his eyes up and Even found himself staring into Jonas’ very surprised eyes. Jonas’ took in the sight of Even holding onto the counter-top for dear life and Isak attacking his throat, “Looks like you’ve had enough, Issy. Come on.” Jonas pulled Isak off of Even and Even took a step away and wrapped his own arms around himself. “I think you’re done for the night,” Jonas added.

“Nooo. Not done with Even,” Isak tried reaching back out for Even but he took another step back. 

Jonas wrapped his arm around Isak’s shoulders and led him from the room. Even turned back to the counter and rested his palms on it, hanging his head. Could he trust the ramblings of a drunk man? Had this meant anything? Or would Isak shun him in the light of day? Even finished his glass of water and wondered why his life was so fucking complicated.

 

Isak’s POV

Isak slowly regained consciousness. He was cold, his head hurt and he was lying on tiles. He opened his eyes experimentally, and then shut them quickly when the bright light seared his eyeballs. He tried again opening them only a crack. He determined that he was lying on his bathroom floor, right next to his toilet, wearing only his boxers. He turned his head and groaned when the movement made him nauseous. Last night had been the stupidest thing he had done in a very long time. He hadn’t gotten that drunk in years.

He slowly got to his feet, taking several breaks for the dizziness to pass. He relieved himself and then brushed his teeth to get rid of the foul taste. He got some pain reliever form the cabinet and swallowed two tablets. He needed water and coffee and a lot of it. He carefully made his way into the kitchen. He poured himself a large glass of water and drank it down. When he reached in the cupboard for coffee, he cursed when he remembered that he was all out. He should have bought some more yesterday, but he had forgotten. 

Knowing that there was no way he was going to make it through the day without caffeine, he decided to shower first, then get dressed, then go out and get some coffee. He took a cold shower hoping to clear his head. He wrapped a towel around his waist and moved to his bedroom to get dressed. He found his clothes from last night tossed on the floor and his phone on the bed. He noticed that it was already past 11:00. The phone was almost out of charge and when he opened it up he found a bunch of unread messages.

There were several today from Eva and from Jonas, all asking if he was okay. A couple of nonsense ones from last night from Magnus and Mahdi. And then there was one this morning from Even. It said simply, “Can we talk?”

Fuck! Isak slid to the floor and rested his head against his bed. Shit, what had he done? He had been drinking. A lot! Trying to drown his sorrows. Even had been ignoring him, ever since he had stayed for dinner. He remembered looking for Even, being desperate to find him. To talk to him. And then he remembered kissing. Really hot kissing! But surely that part had just been an alcohol-fueled dream? Right?

One thing he knew for sure, he couldn’t fucking sort this out until he had his coffee. He dragged on some clothes, a snapback and a pair of sunglasses. Even though it felt pretentious to wear them inside, he knew his eyes would thank him. 

The elevator was full of a rambunctious family on their way out for a Saturday picnic, the kids squealing with their excitement, making Isak wince and hold his head. When they reached the lobby he closed his eyes and held back for a minute, wanting to let the loud family get far ahead of him.

When he opened his eyes, there was Even standing next to the mailboxes. The lobby emptied of everyone but he and Even, and the silence stretched out between them. “Hei,” Isak’s voice was the rough scrape of sandpaper.

“Hei,” Even’s answering whisper was deep and melodic. He started to take a step forward, but then stopped. “How are you feeling?”

Isak was glad he was hiding behind sunglasses as his eyes darted around the room echoing his insecurity. He blushed bright red when his eyes landed on the dark hickey on Even’s neck, knowing that he was the likely the one who put it there. “I was going for coffee,” Isak said as if that explained everything, “I’m out.” 

“I have coffee,” Even blurted out. “I mean . . . if you’re interested.” It was now his turn to look away in uncertainty. 

Isak had been trying for days to get Even to talk to him and now he was. He could leave and burrow back into his hole or he could take the olive branch that Even was holding out, even at the risk of having to face his embarrassing actions of the night before. “Yeah, that sounds good,” Isak finally said. 

They rode the elevator back up in silence and then they were in Even’s apartment kicking off their shoes and hanging up their jackets. As they moved into the living room Even said, “Have a seat. I’ll get the coffee.” 

Isak sank into the comfortable couch and rested his head on the back, taking off his sunglasses. He wondered for the hundredth time when the pain pills would finally start to work? Before he knew it Even was back, setting down on the coffee table a mug of black coffee and a large glass of water. “Thanks,” Isak muttered wearily.

“I wasn’t sure how you took your coffee,” Even said while still standing, looming over Isak on the couch. “And I figured you could use the water.”

“Thanks. Black is fine,” said Isak, cupping his hands around the mug and taking a fortifying sip. 

Even sat down, sinking onto the couch next to Isak. He twisted his body so that his left shoulder was against the back of the couch and he was facing Isak. “So . . . about last night?” Even asked tentatively. 

Isak leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees and cradling the cup of coffee in his hands, not looking at Even. “Look, I know I was out of line . . . and I’m sorry,” he said staring at the table in front of him. 

“Did you mean any of it?” Even’s voice was low and slid right down Isak’s spine. 

His heart started to race and Isak had to breathe through his mouth to get enough air into his lungs. “I’m, um . . . I’m a bit hazy on the details. What exactly are you referring to?” Isak still refused to look in Even’s direction. 

Even gave a huff of irritation, “When you said you couldn’t forget me? When you said you wanted me?” Even’s voice dropped to a hoarse whisper, “When you kissed me?” 

Isak’s stomach dropped at Even’s bold words. He took a long drink of coffee stalling for time. Fuck! It was now or never. “Yes,” he whispered. “I’m sorry if that bothers you,” he added. 

Even was silent for so long that Isak just had to turn and look at him. He needed to know if he was angry or disgusted. Even’s lips were curled in a tiny smile and his eyes met Isak’s eagerly, “I’m not bothered.” He shook his head no as he spoke. 

“No?” Isak asked, afraid to believe his eyes. 

“No,” Even repeated. He took his hand and tenderly stroked the side of Isak’s face, letting his fingers play with the tips of Isak’s curls that had escaped his hat. They stared at each other breathing heavily. Isak blindly set the mug back on the table and lifted his hands to thread through the hair at the back of Even’s head.

He swallowed hard and licked his lips instinctively. He tightened his hold of Even’s head and moved closer. Even’s hand moved to grip the back of Isak’s neck, sure and steady. Isak brought his lips to brush against Even’s lips, once, then again before he pulled back looking at Even with a question in his eyes. 

Even moved forward this time pressing his soft full lips against Isak’s. They brushed together and then parted, Even sliding his tongue into Isak’s mouth and rubbing against his tongue. Isak groaned again and dropped one hand to Even’s back to pull his body closer. Even responded by pushing Isak backward into the couch, knocking his hat off, and pressing his body on top of Isak’s. Even licked at Isak’s mouth as if it was a sweet dessert, then sucked and nibbled on his top lip. Isak slid a hand down to cup Even’s ass and pull him closer. He spread his legs letting Even settle in between them. Even rocked their hips together as his mouth left Isak’s to start licking a path down his neck. Even fisted Isak’s hair and pulled his neck back so he could suck at the base of his neck. 

“Aaaaaah!” The sharp pain of Isak’s headache returned instantaneously. Isak brought both hands up to cradle his head. 

“Oh! Fuck! Shit, I forgot!” Even sprang up off of Isak quickly. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I forgot about your head,” Even reached out a hand toward Isak. 

Isak took his hand and linked their fingers together. “Not your fault,” Isak said ruefully, “I forgot too.” 

“I know what you need,” Even let go of his hand and jumped off the couch. “One big greasy breakfast, coming right up. Finish that water, and then join me in the kitchen. That’s just what the doctor ordered.” 

Isak made use of the bathroom and then made his way to the kitchen. There was Even, cooking away in all his glory, and Isak was sent back in time to another kitchen and another breakfast. Even noticed him in the doorway and motioned him over to the table where he handed him another large glass of water. Then Even went back to work frying bacon and chopping potatoes. 

Isak enjoyed the opportunity to just watch Even. He was wearing a soft old t-shirt that had worn quite thin and every shift of the muscles in his back was perfectly highlighted. His sweatpants were riding low on his hips and clung lovingly to his perfect ass. And when he reached to get something from an upper cabinet, the t-shirt fabric rode up and Isak could see the soft pale dip of his lower back as well as the top curves of his ass cheeks. After a few minutes of this lovely view, Isak shifted uncomfortably on his chair trying to rearrange his half hard cock so that it wasn’t quite so blatantly obvious what was on his mind. 

Before he knew it, plates of fried potatoes and fried sandwiches with bacon, egg, and cheese had appeared on the table, along with a fresh cup of coffee. He was still slightly nauseous, but the food looked good and he couldn’t insult Even and so he began to eat. As he ate he started to feel better, his stomach less queasy. 

“Is it good?” Even asked eagerly, “How are you feeling?”

“Yeah, it’s good,” said Isak hastily swallowing down another mouthful. “I’m feeling better already.” Even’s face lit up with Isak’s praise, his smile filling his face. Isak smiled back, “I like seeing you smile.” 

Even took a finger and dragged it along Isak’s face right where his dimples appear. “I like it when you smile too, Isak,” he whispered. 

Feeling overwhelmed Isak ducked his head, breaking the connection with Even’s touch, and began eating again. When he had finished he pushed his plate back and thanked Even. He chuckled, “I’m so stuffed.” 

“You should rest now. It’s what your body needs to recover,” Even said in a tone that brooked no argument and Isak found himself nodding along. But he stopped nodding and lifted his head sharply at Evens next words, “You should go lay down in my room.” 

Isak’s eyes were full of questions and sought out Even’s, but he was looking everywhere but back at him. “Are . . . are you sure?” Isak asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” Even darted his eyes toward Isak then away again, “Go lie down. Second door, on the right.”

This was crazy. This was insane, he couldn’t just go and lay down in Even’s bed and yet his feet were walking him down the hallway and his hand was pushing open the door. The furniture was white; a dresser, some open shelves, a wardrobe and an enormous bed. The bedding looked thick and fluffy and had a beautiful pattern of swirling blues and greys on a white background. Long yellow curtains hung at the windows. 

Isak dropped his pants and removed his socks before he crawled into the middle of the bed and wrapped himself up in the duvet. Heaven! He was cocooned in softness with Even’s scent surrounding him. He was in heaven. If he was dreaming, he never wanted to wake up.


	7. Chapter 7

Even POV

Even stood silently in the doorway of his bedroom. Isak had wrapped the duvet around himself and all that could be seen was a tuft of blond curls. Even fought the urge to take a picture, knowing that was just creepy. But, fuck, he really wanted to document the fact that Isak was in his bed! Isak’s jeans lay on the floor nearby, so that meant not only was Isak in his bed, but Isak was in his bed without any pants on! Okay, how creepy would it be to get into bed with him? 

Even forced himself to step back into the hall. He pulled out his phone and muted it, then he opened a text with Britta. 

Even: hey, can you keep the kids another night

Britta: sure  
Britta: what’s going on

Even: just getting a lot done today

Britta: OMG!!!!  
Britta: EVEN???  
Britta: are you finally getting laid????

Even: What?  
Even: No!

Britta: please, please, please, tell me it’s Isak

Even: nothing’s going on

Britta: don’t make me come down there!   
Britta: You know I will, Even

Even: Fine  
Even: yes it’s Isak  
Even: but nothing’s happening, he just doesn’t feel well

Britta: Ooooooh!!! You’re taking care of him!   
Britta: How Sweet!!

Even: Bye, Britta

Britta: I want updates!

Even: Bye, Britta

Britta: Sooooo happy for you!! <3

Even was smiling as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. He was glad Britta was in his corner. She was a bit kooky sometimes, but she was also a force to be reckoned with. 

He decided he might as well make use of this time and get some work done, so he got his laptop out and got comfy on the couch. He got so involved in his work, a couple hours flew by before he knew it. He had thought it would be hard to work while he knew Isak was just in the other room, but it was exactly the opposite. Somehow it was comforting to know exactly where Isak was and what he was doing. It freed a part of Even’s mind that had apparently been constantly concerned with thinking about Isak. Even rolled his shoulders, it was about time for a break. He should probably go check on/stare at Isak. 

Just as he had that thought, the man himself appeared from the hallway. He looked adorably sleepy and mussed as he slouched against the wall. His eyes were half-lidded and hair was tousled and standing up in places. There were wrinkles from the pillow on his left cheek and he had pulled his jeans back on but had left them unfastened. His dark blue boxer briefs were peeking through. He looked altogether delicious and very fuckable. Even tried to reign in his thoughts before he scared him away. “How are you feeling?” Even asked softly as he moved to sit up and set aside his laptop. 

“Better. Thanks,” Isak pushed a hand through his hair tangling it up even more. “I should . . . I should go . . .” he began tentatively, his eyes asking questions. 

“Or not?” Even suggested. “You could stay,” he tried for a casual tone, trying to disguise his need and desperation for Isak to never leave him. 

Isak shrugged, “I don’t want to be in the way.” His eyes darted around the room before landing back on Even. 

Even shook his head sharply, “You won’t be.”

“Okay,” Isak sighed and closed his eyes. 

Even’s anxiety ramped up. Was Isak just being polite? Maybe he was trying to find a graceful way to exit this whole situation. But Even didn’t want to make it easy for him, he didn’t want to give him an out. He decided to change the subject, “Are you hungry? I can get you something.” 

“No,” Isak chuckled and a small smile flirted around his lips, “I’m still so full from your feast.” 

Even smiled back. “A drink then? Coffee? Tea?” 

“Water sounds good right now,” Isak answered. When Even started to push off of the couch and stand, Isak held up a hand, “No. Sit. I’ve got it.” He left the room and went into the kitchen.

Even relaxed back against the couch cushions and rested his head back, enjoying the sensation of having Isak moving around his home. 

Isak returned with two large glasses of water and set them on the coffee table. He sat on the couch next to Even. Not so close that they were touching, but not so far apart that they couldn’t touch if they wanted to. Even took a sip. “Thanks,” he said, “just what I needed.” 

“You’re welcome,” Isak said softly, putting down his own glass after drinking.

Even couldn’t help reaching out and running his fingers through the curls near Isak’s ear, “How’s your head?” 

Isak closed his eyes and leaned into Even’s touch. He hummed under his breath. “Much better,” Isak turned his head and opened his eyes. His green eyes stared into Even’s own blue ones. “Now,” he whispered. 

Even leaned forward. He slid his hand to wrap around the back of Isak’s neck and tug him close, his breath speeding up, “I don’t want to hurt you again.” And Even didn’t know if he was talking about what happened this morning or ten years ago.

“Then don’t!” Isak said with finality, he leaned in the last few inches and fit their mouths together. They brushed together softly and slowly. Parting and coming back together over and over. It was an unhurried leisurely exploration, and it was perfect. 

His neck was beginning to hurt with this awkward angle, so Even reached out and pulled Isak into his chest. Then he rolled Isak down onto the couch and settled himself laying half on top of him. He did all of this without breaking their kiss, and when they were both prone Isak chuckled into his mouth. “What?” Even pulled back in mock offense. 

“Are you done moving me about?” Isak asked, his eyes twinkling. “You could have just asked me to lie down.” He tilted his head up, asking silently for another kiss.

“Are you that easy, then?” Even asked huskily, before giving the asked for kiss. He tightened one hand in Isak’s hair and the other resting at his waist. 

“For you, yes,” Isak whispered into his mouth, “only for you.” Isak had one hand on the back of Even’s neck and the other clutching his shoulder tightly. Even kissed him licking deeply into his mouth. 

But Isak’s words triggered his memory of the party at Jonas’. What about that other guy? Did Isak say this to everyone? There was no way he would be able to share Isak anyone else. Even broke their kiss and moved back a couple of inches so that he could look into Isak’s eyes. He rested his thumb against the corner of Isak’s mouth and stroked him tenderly. “Are you seeing anyone?” Even asked softly, afraid of the answer but needing to know. 

“Well I’m seeing you right now, aren’t I?” Isak joked. 

Even pursed his mouth in displeasure and pulled his hand away. “You know what I mean, Isak. Dating anyone?” he clarified. 

Now it was Isak’s turn to frown, “I wouldn’t be here with you if I were.” 

“I saw you with that young guy. At the party. What about him?” Even’s voice rose and got demanding. 

“Him?” Isak scoffed, “he was just some guy from Grindr. He didn’t even go home with me. He left the party with someone else.”

“Do you do that a lot?” Even’s body stiffened up, his tense muscles reflecting his distress, “find guys on Grindr?” He wanted to wrap his own arms around himself and go sit in the armchair, but Isak wasn’t letting go of him. 

“Not here in Oslo, no. Just the once, but Grindr is easy and simple,” Isak finally let his hands drop too, so they were now laying facing each other on the couch but no longer touching. “Is that a problem? I don’t do relationships, Even. But I’m safe, and I get tested every three months.” 

Even sat up and moved to the coffee table facing Isak, he was quiet a long time before he spoke. “Relationships are all I do,” he said sadly. “I dated one person since Mali was born, and that lasted six months. I won’t parade a string of strangers in front of my children.” 

“What about sex then? Clubs or bars? Those are not relationships, Even,” Isak sat up too and moved down the couch so that their knees were no longer touching.   
“No, I don’t do those either,” Even was feeling discouraged by this conversation and hung his head. “I haven’t had sex in a couple of years.” 

Isak got up off the couch and started pacing, “That’s just not . . . fuck, that’s not normal!” 

Even spread his hands out in front of him, “I can’t just fuck someone without emotion, Isak. There needs to be some connection.” Isak continued to pace restlessly. Even stood and grabbed his wrist, halting his progress and drawing him into his arms. He wrapped one arm around his back and one hand on his head and pulled him to his chest. Isak’s arms came around Even too and he seemed to melt, sagging against him. “I don’t want to give up, Isak. How about we try to go slow? Take this one day at a time. Completely, chill,” he whispered into Isak’s hair.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead. This chapter is where my story finally earns its explicit rating. There will be graphic oral sex. If that's not your thing, skip the second half of the chapter. C-

Isak’s POV

Isak’s heart was pounding. Even was asking for so much more than he was used to giving. He didn’t know if he would be able to. He would probably just fuck it up and hurt them both. He pushed his face next to Even’s throat and let his head rest on his shoulder. He let himself be surrounded by Even. “This? What is this?” he whispered without lifting his head, “What are we doing, Even?” 

“This is just us, Isak. We don’t need to label it. Just us. Just Isak and Even,” Even stroked Isak while he spoke, one hand in Isak’s hair and one rubbing his back.   
“I don’t even know if I can. If I know how to be an ‘us’?” Isak mumbled, continuing to hide his face. 

Even took both hands and cupped Isak’s face, pulling him away from his neck and to where he could look in his eyes. “It’s very simple,” he said slowly, “all you have to do is talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. What your fears are. Just talk . . . and kiss me whenever you feel like it. That’s it. The rest we can figure out as we go along.” He stared at Isak for a long time. “Do you think you can do that?” Even’s voice was husky and low. 

“Talk and kiss,” Isak repeated, slowly drowning in Even’s beautiful blue eyes. He nodded, “I think I can do that.” 

“We can take it slow. You know ‘Minute by Minute’ like that old NRK TV show,” Even’s voice was still soft and low. He leaned in and tenderly rubbed his nose along Isak’s.

Isak closed his eyes. It was too much emotion and he didn’t know how to process it. This was so far removed from his normal hookups and quick fucks. “What will we do this minute?” Isak breathed out, reveling in Even’s touch. 

“This minute . . . we will cuddle,” Even’s thumbs were gently stroking Isak’s cheeks. 

“What?” Isak’s eyes sprang open. 

“Cuddle. Don’t you like to cuddle?” Even was looking intensely into Isak’s eyes.

“Well, I don’t . . . I mean, uh . . . we’re adults, Even,” Isak protested. Isak was a grown man. He didn’t cuddle. Not even after sex. Especially not after sex! He didn’t know what Even was playing at. 

“You used to love to cuddle . . . once. How long has it been since you were held?” Even’s voice broke a little as he spoke. Isak only looked back at him in confusion. “Will you let me now?” Even took a step back and held out his hand. 

Isak was so confused, they had been kissing and then fighting, and now Even wanted to hold him. His expression looked so hopeful that Isak didn’t want to shatter it, so he silently took his hand. Even smiled one of his blinding smiles and swiftly pulled Isak down the hall to his room. When they got there, he tossed back the duvet and threw himself into the middle of the bed. He patted the space next to him and said, “Join me.” 

Even was wearing a comfortable t-shirt and joggers, but Isak had on a tight pair of jeans that would not make for good cuddling. Trying to adopt a casual air, like he did this all the time, Isak stripped off his jeans and left them bunched on the floor. In only his t-shirt and boxers, he then crawled across the mattress to Even’s side. Even’s eyes lit up and he raised one eyebrow, “Feel free to take off more clothes . . . if you want to.” 

Isak rolled his eyes and pushed at his shoulder, “Idiot.” Isak lay on his side, tense, not sure what he should do next. Even decided for him by wrapping his arms around him and pulling him over so that his right leg was across Even’s and his head was resting on Even’s chest. Then Even pulled the duvet back over both of them.

“Comfy?” Even asked, his voice rumbling under Isak’s ear. Isak nodded yes against his chest. One of Even’s hands stroked through Isak’s hair and the other roamed up and down his back. Isak slowly started to relax and his right hand unconsciously tracing patterns on Even’s chest. They lay there till their breathing synchronized and their movements slowed and they fell asleep. 

 

Even’s POV

Even woke with Isak in his arms and it took him a moment to remember that this was real and not just another dream. He lay as still as he could not wanting to wake Isak and end this too soon. Isak. Here. In his bed. He could hardly believe it was happening after so many years of regret and broken dreams. He reveled in the soft curls tickling his nose, the muscled leg thrown over his, and the strong hand that was gripping his t-shirt. 

He knew it wasn’t going to be easy. It was never going to be easy, but their earlier argument had triggered all of his own fears and insecurities. The fact that Isak wasn’t even sure if he wanted a relationship had stabbed at his heart. A forever after kind of love with Isak had been his dream for as long as he could remember, and it hurt to hear that wasn’t what Isak had in mind. But he had meant it when he told Isak they would take it slow. He would hold back and try not to overwhelm Isak. No proclaiming his undying love. He would instead show Isak how good it could be between them. He would love Isak. They would take it slow. And Isak would want to stay and be an ‘us’ with Even. It was a foolproof plan.

Isak started to stir, nuzzling his face into the side of Even’s neck and tightening his hold on Even’s shirt. His legs moved restlessly against Even’s and he pressed closer to Even’s side. Even hugged him closer and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. “Time is it?” Isak asked with his mouth against Even’s skin. 

“18:00,” Even answered. “We should make some dinner. Are you hungry?” He ran his fingers through Isak’s hair just because he could and because it felt so damn good. A particularly loud gurgle just then, from Isak’s stomach, made them both laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Even reluctantly moved away from Isak and climbed out of the bed. He lingered in the doorway, watching as Isak got out of the bed too. Isak headed over to pick up his jeans, but Even was enjoying the view too much to see it covered up. “Leave them,” Even directed. 

Isak was still bent over, jeans in one hand, as he looked up at Even, “What?”

Even waved his hand in Isak’s direction, trying for a casual motion, “Don’t put your jeans on again.”

Isak straightened up all the way, keeping his gaze on Even’s. “Why?” he asked, looking puzzled. 

Not sure how to explain his impulsive order, Even bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders looking away from Isak. He risked a look back at Isak and saw that he was now standing there with a smirk on his lips. Even’s cheeks turned red and he looked away again.

“Okay,” Isak said. Then Even heard the jeans hit the floor again before Isak walked over to stand in front of Even. Even felt Isak’s fingers skimming along the elastic waistband of his joggers. “But you have to lose yours too,” Isak added. 

“What?” Even was shocked into meeting Isak’s eyes again. Isak was smiling and his eyes were twinkling with humor. Even couldn’t control the returning smile that crept over his face. 

“It’s only fair,” Isak said, laughing as he spoke. “We’ll have a totally pants-less dinner.”

Even’s face burned brighter as he thought about his options. He was enjoying this playful, flirty Isak and didn’t want to shut him down. On the other hand, he was already half hard from Isak’s proximity and this entire conversation, and his arousal would be clearly evident through the fabric of his tight boxer briefs. It was a vicious circle because the thought of Isak seeing how aroused he was right now, just made him even harder. 

He took so long to answer that Isak dropped his hands and took a step back. He forced out an awkward laugh, “Just kidding. Let’s eat.” Isak turned and started to leave the room. 

Even grabbed his wrist to stop him and pulled until he was against Even’s chest. He wrapped both arms around Isak’s back and dropped his head to rest against Isak’s shoulder. Isak tentatively raised his own arms around Even’s waist. “I’m so fucking awkward,” Even mumbled into his shoulder. They stood and breathed in each other for a few minutes. And then, without thinking too much about it, Even took a step back and pushed his joggers off quickly. He took Isak’s hand, “Okay, let’s go cook,” and led him out of the room. 

After the uncomfortable start, dinner ended up being fun. Isak helped Even chop up vegetables and chicken for a stir-fry. And when Even was putting together the seasonings, Isak had fun suggesting outlandish spices to add. Even refused them all, laughing and stating that, “this meal was not going to end up tasting like balls!” His resolution faltered when Isak came up and quietly set the jar of cardamom on the counter. Even looked at Isak and saw a multitude of emotions flashing across his face. He couldn’t resist and cradled Isak’s face in his palms. He brought their lips together for a kiss that started out tender and ended up sloppy, their hearts pounding and their cocks hard when they finally pushed away. 

They went back to cooking but kept stealing looks at each other. When they sat down to eat, they might as well have just used one plate because they ended up feeding each other more than themselves. Clean up was completed almost silently, working together naturally. When everything was put to rights, and Even hung up the dishtowel, he turned and saw Isak leaning in the doorway with an intense look on his face.

 

Isak’s POV

Isak had been regretting his pant-less dinner idea for a few hours now. He had only ended up torturing himself with views of Even’s long elegant legs and fucking perfect ass. And then there was the sweet, sweet torment of Even’s tight boxer briefs lovingly outlining every impressive inch of Even’s dick. 

But dinner was finally done and Isak was more than ready to peel off the rest of Even’s clothes and thoroughly explore his body. His whole body tensed as he watched Even wipe down the counters and hang up the dishcloth. He was ready to act. He held his hand out to Even, letting his breath hiss out when Even crossed to him and took it. 

He pulled Even back toward the bedroom, not slowing down until they were in the center of the room. He dropped Even’s hand, reached behind himself and quickly drew off his shirt, tossing it aside. Even was not moving, standing there with his mouth slightly open and a flush on his cheeks. Isak impatiently grasped the hem of his t-shirt and started to tug it up. Even caught on to Isak’s intent and raised his arms up so that Isak could pull it all the way off. They both stood there wearing nothing but their underwear, breathing hard and staring at each other. 

Want, need, touch, now - all started screaming in Isak’s brain. He placed his palms on Even’s chest and gently pushed. Even took a step back, and then another and another, until the backs of his legs hit the edge of the bed. Isak pushed harder and Even fell back, sprawled on the bed, propped up on his elbows with his knees bent and his feet still on the floor. 

Isak dropped to his knees next to the bed and ran his hands up Even’s legs, the pale hair under his fingers somehow coarse and silky at the same time. He turned and placed a kiss on the inside of Even’s knee, making Even groan and prop himself up higher on his hands so he could watch Isak. He moved his mouth slowly, kissing and nuzzling the inside of Even’s thigh, pulling more groans from Even. He rested his head on top of Even’s thigh and looked up at him. 

Even was beautifully wrecked. His mouth was open and his lips were red and puffy as if he had been biting them. His eyes were dark and wild, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. “Isak,” Even moaned his name. 

While he kept eye contact, Isak slowly slipped his fingers up Even’s legs and into his boxers. He slowly caressed that soft space where legs met upper body. Even reached out one hand and pushed his fingers through Isak’s hair, sending shivers down his spine with that small touch. Isak licked his lips, “What do you want?”   
“Anything!” Even burst out. “Anything at all. Whatever you want. I’m . . . I’m not gonna last no matter what you do,” he warned.

If that was the case, Isak thought they might just have to have more than one round tonight. He pulled his hands free from Even’s boxers making him whine. He stood up and then put one knee on the bed between Even’s legs. “Budge up,” he jerked his head toward the head of the bed. Even scooted backward on the bed until his head was up by the pillows and his legs were fully on the bed. Isak followed him and straddled his legs, sitting on Even’s thighs. There was so much he wanted to do to Even that he was frozen with indecision for a moment. 

Even broke the spell when he tilted his hips, rocked them up into nothing and made a high needy sound in his throat. Naked. He definitely needed to get Even naked. He curled his fingers in the waistband of the boxer briefs and started pulling them off. He moved off of Even for a second so that he could pull them down his legs and toss them on the floor, and then he returned to his seat atop Even’s thighs. 

He did nothing but look for several long minutes. He had been so shy ten years ago, that even when they had been naked together, he had barely looked at Even. Well, he wasn’t shy any longer and his eyes feasted on Even’s beauty. His long graceful limbs were lightly dusted with dark blond hair. He wasn’t overly muscled, and he was still slender. His chest had very little hair and his small nipples were pink and rosy. His stomach wasn’t quite as concave as it had been at 19, but it was still flat and there was a trail of soft hair leading from his belly that Isak longed to follow with his tongue. 

At the end of that happy trail, there was Even’s cock. It was just as perfect as he remembered it. It was long and pink, turning to a deep rose at the tip. It was the Goldilocks of dicks, not too thick and not too thin. Isak remembered it filling his mouth and ass, ‘just right’. More of those soft curling hairs surrounded Even’s cock and balls, and even though Isak was used to men who were totally shaved (as he himself was), he decided that he liked it that Even wasn’t. It made him seem more real somehow. 

Right now that perfect dick was jutting out from Even’s body. The foreskin was almost completely retracted and the tip was red and leaking. Even twisted the sheets in his hands and moved his hips restlessly under Isak’s gaze, causing his cock to bounce and jump. “Eager are we?” Isak smirked at him, loving being the one in control. 

“When I said you could do anything, I thought it might involve actual touching. I didn’t think you were just going to stare at me all night,” Even complained, but his dick stayed hard and gave another twitch.

“I don’t know,” Isak drawled, “I think you like me looking at your body.” His flicked down to the throbbing cock between Even’s legs. “Besides, it’s not often I get to look at such a beautiful sight,” he looked back up and met Even’s eyes.

Isak finally moved his hands, lightly scratching his nails up Even’s thighs and stopping at his hip bones. “God! You’re fucking killing me, Isak!” Even cried out. Holding Even’s hips down firmly, Isak tipped his head forward and teased with his hair all along Even’s cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! I hate you!” Even gasped out.

“That’s too bad,” Isak moved his head so that his breath was now ghosting over the wet tip of Even’s dick, “cause I don’t hate you.” Isak flicked his tongue out and licked the head, enjoying the salty/sweet taste of Even’s pre-cum. Even moaned mindlessly underneath him. He sucked the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue all around and then flicking his tongue at the underside. He had sucked a lot of dicks in the past ten years, but this had been his first dick and it seemed like his mouth remembered. Even fit his mouth like no one else ever had. 

He moved his mouth further down the shaft and then pulled all the way back, sucking hard and hollowing out his cheeks. “Fuck, yes! Yesyesyesyesyesyes!” Even was writhing under him mindless with his pleasure. Isak sucked down two more times and then Even was bucking and filling his mouth. “Oh, god!” Even’s voice was a deep rumble. Isak tried to swallow quickly as his mouth kept filling up. He continued to suck gently until Even’s cock stopped pulsing. Then he sat back up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Even lay dazed below him. His mouth parted and his chest still rising and falling rapidly. His pupils blown and his blue eyes looking mostly black. He raised a shaky hand to Isak. “Come here,” he whispered, pulling Isak down on top of him. “Fuck . . . I’m . . . fuck!” he wrapped his arms tightly around Isak. “Just give me a minute,” he mumbled into Isak’s hair. 

“No problem,” Isak chuckled, loving that he was able to wreck Even so badly. Usually, he was impatient to get some reciprocity, but today he was content to lie here and wait for Even. He was hard and aching, but it had felt so good to get Even off it was worth the ache now. 

Even moved a hand up and angled Isak’s head for a kiss. Even licked into his mouth and their tongues tangled. “Hmm, salty,” Even commented before diving in again. 

“That’s all you,” Isak gasped as Even moved on to suck at his neck. 

“Let’s find out what you taste like then,” Even said as he started to trail kisses down Isak’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The NRK show Even is referring to is the Slow TV in Norway where they watch hours of wood burning fires or a train ride.


	9. Chapter 9

Isak’s POV

Even’s warm mouth was moving down his chest and it felt so good. Even’s lips and mouth had always featured largely in all of his fantasies. Soft and puffy, they looked like they had been made solely for the purpose of sucking dick. More than once in the past he had closed his eyes and imagined Even’s mouth on him, instead of whichever random hook-up he was with at the time. 

And now Even’s mouth really was moving across his skin and he felt like he might be dreaming. Even stopped to suck and lick at his nipples which shot arousal straight down to his groin. Isak’s nipples had always been sensitive. “Yes, yes, yes, yes,” he chanted while holding Even’s head right where it was. He pushed his hips up against Even’s belly to get some friction on his poor cock. It felt like he had been hard for hours now. 

Even pulled off Isak’s nipple and started moving lower again, stopping to swirl his tongue in his belly-button. Even splayed his hand across Isak’s lower belly and then lower to the base of his dick. “Smooth,” Even commented, raising one eyebrow. 

Isak flushed red. He wasn’t sure why he was so embarrassed, he felt like waxing or shaving was generally expected by his hookups. Compared to Even’s more natural grooming, his own lack of hair seemed so explicitly sexual, his erection more blatant. 

Now, Even lowered his face and rubbed his cheek over the smooth skin. His hair teased along Isak’s shaft and balls. Even turned his face so he could look in Isak’s eyes, “I like it,” he declared. All Isak could do was moan in response, because Even’s mouth was so tantalizingly close to where he wanted it. Even then turned and actually nuzzled his nose along Isak’s hard length. 

Isak reached his hand down and lightly caressed his cheek, Even looked up at him again resting his head on Isak’s upper thigh. His hair was wild and tousled and his pupils were so wide his eyes looked dark. “So beautiful,” Isak whispered.

Isak rubbed his thumb over his lower lip and Even opened his mouth. The tip of his tongue darted out and licked Isak’s thumb. At Isak’s loud groan, Even sucked his thumb into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Isak’s cock jerked from the added pleasure, and Even smirked around his thumb and did it again. This time sucking harder.

Even pulled off of Isak’s thumb with a loud pop. His deep voice rumbled, “Seems like you enjoyed that.” 

Raking the fingers of one hand through Even’s hair, Isak replied, “You can put your mouth anywhere on my body and I will absolutely enjoy it.” 

“What about here?” Even reached his hand out and gave a few firm strokes to Isak’s dick. 

“Fuck yes,” Isak said in a shaky voice, thrusting his cock up into Even’s hand.

Even pushed his hand down the shaft, pulling back the foreskin and exposing the head. He opened his mouth and licked all around the head like an ice cream cone. Isak whimpered and unconsciously thrust up seeking more of Even’s wet mouth, but Even fastened one hand on his hip and held him down firmly. Even swirled his tongue again and then sucked the wet head into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks. 

He pulled off again, licked up and down the shaft and then continued slowly jacking him with his hand. He sucked Isak’s dick, this time going down far enough that he met up with his hand. He worked his mouth and hand in tandem, stroking with his hand the part he couldn’t fit into his mouth. It was sloppy and a bit clumsy, but it was the best thing that Isak had felt in a very long time. 

“Yes! Yes! God Even, please don’t stop,” Isak gasped. He clutched at Even’s hair with one hand and the sheets with the other. In response Even sucked harder, drool escaping his lips and running down Isak’s dick. He bobbed his head faster and faster until Isak could feel the ache in his cock and balls growing, and he tried to warn Even, “I’m gonna, I’m . . . Even!” Even only sucked harder and sped up his hand until pleasure suffused his whole body and he was shooting into Even’s mouth. 

When he finished, he opened his eyes and saw Even looking a little dazed. Even dragged a hand across his red puffy lips and then crawled up to Isak’s side. He lay his head on Isak’s chest and wrapped his arm around his waist. Isak put both his arms around the other man and gathered him close. 

“Do you remember the first time I ever did that to you?” Even’s voice was deep and raspy.

“Of course,” Isak panted, his heartbeat still trying to slow down. 

“I was so nervous. I had never done that before,” Even said hesitantly. “I was trying to show . . . I wanted you to know how much you meant to me,” he moved up and buried his head in Isak’s neck. 

Isak tightened his arms, his throat ached and felt too full to speak. 

 

Even’s POV

In the very first moments of consciousness that Sunday morning, Even simply existed as a being of joy and light. He felt contentment and happiness deep in his bones. And then physical awareness started creeping in, first that he was naked and then that he was alone. He opened his eyes and looked around. No Isak. And his clothes were no longer strewn around the room. Even’s clothes still lay wherever they had landed last night and that fact help reassure Even that this hadn’t just been an amazing dream. 

He strained his ears to listen closely for sounds of a shower or coffee maker but heard nothing. He reached for his phone, there were no messages. He looked around the room again in the faint hope that there was a message or a sign or anything at all that Isak had left. But there was nothing.

Even sighed and flopped back onto the bed. What did this mean? Did it mean anything to Isak? Had he gotten scared? Had he been disappointed? That last question turned Even’s stomach. He knew he wasn’t the most experienced man, and his lack of a sex life lately had made him lose what little finesse he had ever had. Even groaned and buried his head in the pillows.

The way he saw it, he had two choices, really. He could continue to torture himself with his questions and doubts, or he could just talk to Isak. As painful as the answers might be, he needed to know where they stood. He picked up his phone and dialed.

It took Isak two rings to pick up, “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Even answered back. He took a deep breath, “Where are you?” Even prayed his voice hadn’t sounded as needy as he felt. 

“I’m buying coffee,” Isak said and Even could hear noises and talking in the background. 

Did Isak mean he was buying coffee for them? That made no sense because Even had coffee. “I have coffee,” Even blurted out.

“Yeah, but I’m all out. I needed to do some other shopping too . . .” Isak’s voice trailed off. The silence stretched out between them. “Well . . .” Isak began but was interrupted.

“You didn’t tell me,” Even’s voice started getting higher.

“Yeah, well, you were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you,” Isak said defensively. 

“So you just left. Without a word?” Even accused. 

“Wonder where I learned that?” Isak mumbled sarcastically. 

Even’s anger rose up to protect the pain in his heart, “Look Isak! First of all, I . . . left you a note! And second, I was a fucking teenager! You are a grown ass man! Act like one!” 

“Look, I warned you,” Isak yelled back. “I told you I would suck at this! And I was right!” Even could hear Isak blow out a breath, “Maybe this was all a mistake?” 

“I refuse to believe that,” Even said firmly, refusing to give in to the pain slicing through his heart. “Look, we can’t just give up when things get tough. Just . . . just don’t leave next time without waking me.” Even could hear the shoppers and the beeping of the registers in the background. “Isak?” he asked. 

“Next time?” Isak’s voice was so quiet Even almost missed it. “You still want . . .”

“Yes. We’re still an ‘us’. We are still trying this,” Even felt like he was trying to convince both of them at this point.

“Ok,” Isak said quietly. 

“Ok?” Even needed reassurance, “You’re still in this?” 

“I’m still in this,” Isak answered.

Even let out the breath he was holding and pinched the bridge of his nose to stop from tearing up. “Will I see you today?” 

“Sorry, I’ve got a lot of stuff to get done,” as if he could read Even’s mind, Isak added, “Really, Even. It’s all the stuff I didn’t get done yesterday. But . . .”

“But?” Even prompted.

“But I’m free tomorrow after work,” Isak said all in a rush as if he was afraid of Even’s response. 

“Then come for dinner,” Even rushed to answer. “Will you?” 

“Yes, I will,” Isak replied, “I’ll see you then, Even.” 

“See you then, Isak,” Even answered back and then the line was gone. Fuck, this was hard! If he wasn’t sure in his gut that they would be amazing together, he might be tempted to give up. But he wouldn’t. He would be strong for the both of them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge apologies for my absence in updating. I had a family vacation and then my mom came to stay for a week and a half, and I just couldn't find the time to write. 
> 
> I've had lots of comments asking for more fluff, so this is the fluffiest chapter ever! It could possibly make your teeth ache it's so fluffy. XD 
> 
> <3 C-

Isak’s POV

Isak was paralyzed with indecision. He was standing by the flowers in the grocery store, trying to decide what to do. Since he was invited this time and not just showing up at Even’s apartment, he knew he should bring something for his host. But what to bring was the question. 

He knew most people would bring wine, but there were two problems with that idea. Firstly, he didn’t drink wine and therefore he knew next to nothing about wine and Even was sure to be an expert on something like this. And secondly, well, he really didn’t like to drink wine, he would much rather drink beer – but somehow showing up with a six pack of beer was not going to project the sophisticated, Isak is all grown up now, image that he was trying so hard to project. He knew getting drunk and slobbering all over Even had put a dent in that image, but he was still trying to show Even that he could be everything he needed. 

So, if he wasn’t going to bring wine, what should he bring? And that was why he was standing in front of the flowers. He had brought them a few times to Eva and Jonas’ and they seemed to go over well. He had been standing there for about ten minutes when a stranger took pity on him, “Are you having trouble picking out flowers?” The middle-aged woman smiled at him kindly.

“Yeah,” he said with a wry twist to his lips, his gaze sweeping again over all of the choices.

“Is it for a date?” she asked. Isak nodded and she continued, “Well, what kind of things does she like?” 

“He,” Isak corrected, clenching his jaw in advance of the shocked response he anticipated getting. 

“Oh, okay,” she said mildly, “what kinds of things does he like? Does he like very fancy stuff? Is he fussy? Or is he casual and relaxed? What colors does he like?” 

Isak squinted at the woman in front of him. She looked just like an average middle-aged woman. Her hair was dark blond with some grey and she was a bit plump around the waist, but she had a kind smile and a twinkle in her eyes. She was not judging him at all. Isak relaxed and smiled back at her. “He likes blue, and green, and grey. And he is not fussy, he’s pretty laid back.”

“This one is very pretty,” she pointed to one of the bouquets. “It has some hydrangea and some white roses and this lovely greenery. Do you think he would like that?”

She waited patiently for his answer, this random woman. “Yeah, he might like that actually,” Isak’s words came out slowly. He flashed her a relieved smile now that this decision was made. 

Before she left, she put a hand on his arm. “Now take a deep breath and relax,” she said with a chuckle. “He’s lucky to have a date with such a handsome and thoughtful guy. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks, for your help,” even though she knew nothing about his situation, Isak was less stressed at least for the moment. 

Isak turned to find the baked goods. He thought maybe he would also pick up a cake. He realized that he had no idea if Even had a sweet tooth or not, but he did himself and he knew Amalia would love cake. What child didn’t? 

He picked out a gooey chocolate cake and then got distracted imagining himself licking sticky chocolate off of Even’s fingers. And just like that, he had an uncomfortable half boner in the middle of the grocery store. 

As he headed to the checkout a brightly colored display caught his eye. They were small pink stuffed ponies, with rainbow-colored manes. He immediately thought of Amalia, and what the heck he added it to his purchases. 

Now Isak found himself, once again, standing nervously in front of Even’s door. He shifted his shopping bag to the other hand and knocked on the door. 

Not even thirty seconds had passed before Even was opening the door. “Halla,” he had a warm smile on his face and Stian perched on his hip. He took a step back so that Isak could enter. 

“Halla,” Isak replied, stepping forward and moving right next to Even. They weren’t touching but he was standing much too close for polite social interactions. His stomach was jumping around, he felt both nervous and excited. He pressed his lips together and looked down while toeing off his shoes. He had made sure to wear clean socks with no holes. 

Even was barefoot, and Isak was distracted by the sight of his long slender feet and elegant toes. Most of the time Isak thought feet were merely a necessity, a way to get you from place to place, but Even’s feet were beautiful. They were long without being bulky, each toe tapering perfectly from largest to smallest. Isak had the impulse to touch them and maybe even kiss them. Fuck! This was completely ridiculous! Now he was getting turned on by feet, for god’s sake! 

Even leaned forward to kiss his cheek at the same time that Isak was jerking his head up, away from his podiatristical observations, and he ended up smashing his cheek into Even’s nose. 

“Ow,” Even pulled back and rubbed his nose with his free hand.

“Sorry,” Isak looked away, his eyes landing on Even’s feet again before skittering them away. “I . . . uh, sorry,” he repeated awkwardly. By now Even had to be regretting ever inviting Isak over in the first place. 

“Let’s try again,” Even’s deep voice rumbled soothingly over Isak’s nerves. Even cupped his free hand around Isak’s cheek and gently pulled his face up. He smoothed his thumb back and forth, slowly, over Isak’s cheekbone. “Halla, Isak,” he whispered, and then he brought their lips together for a soft, tender kiss full of longing and promise. He pulled back again but left his hand softly caressing Isak’s face. “I’m glad you’re here,” he added quietly. 

“Me too,” Isak said. He went to bring his own hands up to touch Even but then remembered the bag in his hand. “I . . . uh . . . I didn’t know what I should bring,” he thrust the bag out at Even.

“You didn’t need to bring anything, but thank you,” Even let go of Isak and accepted the bag. He saw the flowers sticking out at the top. “Flowers? You got me flowers?” he asked excitedly, a broad smile covering his face. “That’s fantastic,” he said almost more to himself than to Isak. “Come on inside,” he turned and led the way into the living room. “Can you take Stian?” he asked, “I want to go put these in water.” 

“Sure,” Isak held out his arms and adjusted to the soft warm weight of the baby. “Hiya, Stian. How are you?” he cooed at the baby. When Even left the room, he turned and saw Amalia curled up on the couch watching a cartoon on a tablet. “Hi Mali,” he called out as he moved to sit next to her on the couch.

“Isak!” her face lit up and she smiled just like her papa. She put down the tablet and threw herself at him in a full body hug. Isak was glad that he was already sitting or he and Stian might have toppled over. “Are you here for dinner? Papa’s making my favorite, lasagna!” 

Isak made room for her on his lap too, balancing Stian in one arm and Amalia in the other. “That sounds delicious. Yes, I’m staying to eat.” 

Even came back into the room with the flowers in a vase and set them on the coffee table, “The flowers are beautiful! Thank you, Isak.” He sat down on the couch too. 

“Ooh! Pretty!” Amalia exclaimed. “Are you Papa’s boyfriend now?” she peered up at Isak intently. 

Isak threw a panicked look at Even, but he was gazing intently at the flowers and refusing to meet his eyes. “Uh . . . er, we are just friends,” he flicked another quick look at Even and saw that his mouth had turned down but he was still keeping his eyes on the flowers. “Uh, good friends though . . . very good friends.” Even looked up then and finally looked at Isak. He didn’t seem happy or sad, his face was carefully neutral. 

He reached over and squeezed Isak’s knee, “Thank you for the c – a – k – e. We’ll have it later.”

“Papa!” Amalia complained when she couldn’t understand what Even was saying.

“Oh, and thank you for my other present,” Even laughed, “I just love it!” And with that, he brought out the stuffed pony. “How did you know I wanted a stuffed pony,” he giggled. 

“Papa! No, Papa, that’s for me. That’s for me isn’t it, Isak?” Amalia scrambled from Isak’s lap over to her father’s. 

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, Even,” Isak tried to keep a straight face, “the pony is for Mali. The flowers are for you.” A grin broke out on his face and he snuggled Stian closer just because he was so happy.

“I told you, Papa!” Amalia said, snatching up the pony. “Thank you, Isak,” she turned and gave him a swift kiss on the cheek. “Now you, Papa,” she turned back to Even.

“Now me what?” Even looked at his daughter in confusion.

“Now you give Isak a thank you kiss. For your flowers,” she said like she was bored to be explaining something so obvious. 

He leaned across his daughter and gave Isak a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, his tongue darting out for a quick teasing lick. “Thank you for my flowers,” Even whispered, his breath fanning across Isak’s cheek. 

He sat back down in his spot and Isak took a deep breath to calm his sudden excitement at the proximity of Even’s mouth. Getting hard in front of Even’s children would not be appropriate at all! “You’re welcome,” he managed to croak out. 

“Dinner’s ready. Time to wash up, Mali,” Even addressed his daughter. She popped off the couch and went running to the bathroom. 

He stood and held out his arms for Stian but Isak shook his head, “I’ve got him.” 

They settled into an easy rhythm, Even helping Amalia fill her plate and cut her food and Isak cutting up small bits of soft food for Stian. Dinner was just as fun as Isak remembered. Even and Amalia were so happy and fun together. Even knew how to prompt his daughter for her funny and dramatic stories. The lasagna was delicious, Isak took seconds and both children ended up with red sauce covered faces. 

Isak felt much like he did when he was at Jonas and Eva’s, and it surprised him. He seemed to be nervous when anticipating spending time with Even, but then when they were actually together, it all seemed to fall into place effortlessly. How was it possible to feel so comfortable with him so quickly? 

When dinner was over, Even cleaned up the kids and asked Isak if he could give Stian his bottle again. Isak readily agreed. He enjoyed this task. Stian was used to him now, and nothing could beat baby snuggles. Once Stian was fed, Isak could hear Even arguing with Amalia about pajamas. He decided to make himself useful and start getting Stian ready. 

He wandered down the hall, and by process of elimination, found Stian’s room. He had changed a few diapers before and so he didn’t shy away from this step, although he was greatly relieved to find there was only pee in the diaper. Once the baby’s diaper was changed, Isak held him in one arm while he poked around in the drawers for some pajamas. He found some cute ones with monkeys and bananas on them and headed back over to the changing table. 

Undressing Stian had been easy as he was wearing only a t-shirt and a diaper, but the pajamas were one piece and had so many snaps. He thought he would start with the feet and work his way up, however, Stian had different ideas and kept squirming and trying to roll over. By the time Even found him, Isak had managed to get one of Stian’s legs into the pajamas but nothing else.

He heard a soft chuckle and looked up to see Even leaning in the doorway, “How about an extra set of hands?” he offered. 

“God, I’m sorry. I’m hopeless at this,” Isak threw a panicked look over in Even’s direction. 

“You’re not hopeless. He is just a master escape artist. Aren’t you sweetheart?” Even said as he joined them over at the changing table. “I’ll stop him from rolling and you can get his other leg.” Even held onto Stian’s arms and sang him a silly song, capturing the baby’s attention.

Isak took advantage of the distraction and quickly got his other leg in the pajamas. “Okay, now what?” he asked Even.

“Let’s do his right arm. I’ll hold and you put on his sleeve,” Even suggested. Isak tried to put the baby’s arm in the sleeve but it seemed too small and he was afraid of hurting the baby. “Try bunching the fabric up with your fingers before you put his arm in it,” Even said in an encouraging tone. Isak tried that and it was much easier. “Okay, now the other one,” Even added.

Isak had to lean over Even to reach the other side. He ended up with his face very close to Even’s, and their sides pressed together. He got the other sleeve on quickly but kept looking down at the baby, and where their hands were very close together. 

“Good work,” Even whispered in his ear. “Now start the snaps from the bottom up, or you always end up mismatched.” Even held the baby steady for Isak. Isak focused on his task and worked quietly. He only had to go back and fix two of the snaps that were out of order. When Isak was done, Even let go of the baby and put his arms around him from behind and rested his chin on Isak’s shoulder. “See, you’re a natural,” his deep voice settled into Isak’s ear as they both looked down at the happy infant. 

He picked up Stian and rested him against his shoulder. Stian’s small fingers clutched at Isak’s shirt and he rubbed his face against him. He turned his head to meet Even’s eyes, “What’s next?” 

Even slowly rubbed his cheek against Isak’s while he looked down at his son nestled against Isak’s chest. “Now, we very quietly lay him in his crib and back out of the room,” he said softly.

“Do you want to do it?” Isak asked anxiously, his hand unconsciously rubbing small circles on Stian’s back. 

“You should do it. He’s almost asleep now. You set him down and I’ll lower the lights,” Even turned off all but a twinkly star-shaped light as Isak bent over the crib and gently laid Stian down. 

“Is that it?” Isak whispered.

Even motioned with his hand, “Now we tiptoe out,” he whispered back. 

They quietly walked back down the hall to the kitchen. When they got there, Even caught Isak’s wrist and stopped his forward motion. He said nothing but gave Isak a sappy grin. “What?” Isak asked softly.

Even stroked his fingers gently across the inside of Isak’s wrist, and just looked at him for a long moment. “It’s just . . . I haven’t had anyone to do that with before. Britta and I don’t really do ‘bedtimes’ together. I liked it,” Even tugged at the wrist he was holding until Isak’s body was bumping up against his. “We never ate the c – a – k – e, he murmured, his mouth almost touching Isak’s. He pulled back a little so he could look Isak in the eye, “Are you ready for some dessert?”


	11. Chapter 11

Even’s POV

“When I bought it, all I could think about was eating it off of your body,” Isak whispered in his ear. 

Even groaned. Seeing Isak holding his son had made his insides turn gooey, but having him whisper naughty suggestions in his ear made him hard all over. He wanted it, he wanted everything Isak was willing to give him. He really did, but this was unfamiliar territory. Sex and parenthood. 

He wasn’t sure he was ready to have Amalia wake up in the morning and get into bed with him and find Isak there too. He loved having Isak around his children but he was also worried they would get used to being too much like a family, and then what would happen if things ended? 

He was quiet a little too long. Isak leaned back and gave him a wobbly smile, “Or we could eat it the regular way. That works too.” Isak took a step back and leaned against the kitchen counter. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to . . . it’s just complicated,” Even pushed his hands through his hair. “The kids . . . they love you, and I love you with them. But it’s just . . . I mean . . . I can’t just . . .” 

Isak looked at Even, confusion swamping his eyes. “Even?” he tentatively reached out a hand toward Even. 

Even scrubbed his hands over his face and missed seeing Isak’s hand reaching toward him. “Can we . . . can we sit down?” He moved into the living room without looking back. Even sat heavily on the couch and rested his head in his hands. 

Isak followed slowly and sat cautiously on the couch next to him. “Even? What’s going on?” 

Even kept his eyes on the floor not wanting to see Isak’s expression, “I’m just realizing how complicated this is. And how I haven’t really thought anything through, as usual.” He grimaced and forced the rest of the words out, “You should just probably go find another man, one without kids.” 

“I don’t fucking get you, Even!” Isak pushed back away from Even. “I thought . . . did I do something wrong?” When Even remained silent, Isak stood up and began pacing angrily. “Fuck! You were the one who fucking said that we could do this! What the fuck happened to ‘minute by minute’?” 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Even shook his head sadly, “I didn’t think things through. Tonight was perfect. And you’re making sexy suggestions. Of course, you are. You are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and if I could keep you trapped in my bed all the time, I would. But I’ve got kids and they wake up in the night and need things. They need me. And I’m not sure about Mali finding you in my bed . . . just go find some uncomplicated guy.” 

And as if on cue, Stian started crying. His cries seeming to echo through the apartment. 

Even looked helplessly at Isak, tears in his eyes, “I have to . . .” He turned and left the room, knowing that when he came back Isak would be gone. Gone from the apartment, and gone from his life. Silent tears trailed down his face as he made his way to his son’s room. 

 

Isak’s POV

Fuck Even, Isak decided. He was angrier than he had ever been. Even couldn’t just dangle a future with him in front of Isak and then snatch it away when things got complicated! Did he think Isak hadn’t already realized children would make things more difficult? 

Well, fuck him if he thought Isak would bail when things got challenging! Isak had been called a stubborn idiot too many times in his life for him not to acknowledge some truth to that statement. In this case, that stubbornness would come in handy. 

 

Even’s POV

Even gently shut Stian’s door and leaned back against it as a wave of utter exhaustion swept over him. Stian was definitely teething. Maybe he would be able to have a relationship after both of his children turned eighteen? It wouldn’t be with Isak though, so what would be the point? 

He heard the TV on in the living room and headed in there to turn it off. He stopped abruptly when he reached the doorway. Isak was there! He was sitting back on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, watching TV. A plate, with a large slice of chocolate cake, sat on the table too. 

Even’s heart started to pound so hard the sound filled his ears. He swallowed hard. “You’re here?” his voice came out as a raspy mess. 

Isak’s head jerked up at the sound of his voice and he gave Even a defiant look, “Of course I’m here! Do you think I’m a quitter?” 

Even wasn’t sure what to think. Isak seemed like he was angry, but he was still here. Even stood shifting from foot to foot, trying to figure out what was happening. 

“Come, sit,” Isak’s voice rang out abruptly and startled Even, but he gently patted the couch next to him. 

“I thought you would leave . . .” Even said as he moved over to the couch and sat down. He tried to leave room between them, unsure of what Isak wanted. But as soon as he sat, Isak wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer so that they were touching from shoulder to thigh. 

“You thought wrong,” Isak stated. “We’re watching a documentary about polar bear conservation.” With his free hand, he handed Even the plate of cake. 

“Ah . . . OK?” Even was still confused about what exactly was happening. 

Isak slouched down on the couch some more and pulled Even with him. “It doesn’t always have to be about sex, you know,” he said in a quiet voice, “We can just spend time together.” 

They watched a few more minutes of the scientists trying to save the polar bears from extinction. Finally, Even relaxed into Isak’s side. “OK,” he whispered. He forked up some cake and let the chocolate flavor melt over his tongue. “Hmmmm,” he moaned, “It’s good!”

Isak turned and wordlessly opened his mouth to Even. Even swallowed at what the sight of Isak’s open mouth did to him, but then he realized that Isak wanted cake too. He loaded up the fork and slid it into Isak’s mouth. Isak closed his lips around the fork and shut his eyes, before pulling back and making moans of his own. 

Even couldn’t help himself, he leaned over and covered Isak’s mouth with his own. Isak responded by wrapping his free hand around Even’s neck and keeping him there while he opened his mouth and slid their tongues together. The flavor of chocolate and Isak mixed together and Even groaned low in his throat. He clutched the plate in one hand and Isak’s shirt in the other, while Isak ate at his mouth like he was starving. Even whimpered when Isak slowly pulled back from the kiss. 

“Yeah,” Isak panted,” that’s good cake.” He slid his hand from Even’s neck around to softly caress his cheek. He stared into Even’s eyes while he tenderly pushed back a lock of his hair. “We can do this,” he said firmly, and Even knew he wasn’t talking about cake anymore. 

“We can do this,” Even echoed. This time he leaned in to kiss Isak. This kiss was soft and tender, lips meeting, parting gently and meeting again. It was a kiss of apology, a kiss of admiration, and a kiss of hope. 

They spent the evening exchanging bites of cake and kisses, comfortably curled around each other. When 23:00 came, Isak reluctantly untangled himself and went back to his own apartment. Even fell asleep that night with a smile on his face and the taste of chocolate on his lips.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but I wanted to get an update out. Thanks again for all of the great comments!

Isak’s POV

Isak couldn’t stop thinking about Even. That part wasn’t unusual. What was unusual were the thoughts that he was having. Tuesday night had been a revelation. Isak had happily spent the whole evening with Even, and there had been no sex. Kissing and touching yes, but no orgasm for either of them. What was the most shocking to Isak was that he was okay with that. 

This was not how Isak usually enjoyed himself. He didn’t even bother with a date if sex was not a possibility. And not to say he always got laid, but if it looked like that was not going to happen on a date Isak was quick to bail. His life was compartmentalized. Dates were for sex, and his friends were for fun and relaxation. He had never had the two cross before. 

Tuesday night he had stayed. Even when it was clear there wouldn’t be any sex, he had stayed. He had held Even in his arms and kissed him. He had even told Even that they didn’t have to have sex every time they saw each other. And the weird thing was, he hadn’t been lying. It had felt good to cuddle with Even on the couch, and he hadn’t been disappointed that they couldn’t take things farther that night. Isak didn’t recognize himself. 

He had believed in love back in high school. He had believed that he loved Even, and had been devastated when Even left him. He closed off his heart after that, cynically deciding there was only one thing he wanted from the men that he dated. But now his heart was starting to thaw. With Even, he was finding pleasure even in the mundane and everyday events; dinner with Even and his kids and their bedtime routine. He had found pleasure laying wrapped together with Even, on the couch trading kisses. 

Because both their schedules had been busy, they had texted a few times this week but hadn’t been able to see each other in person. Mahdi was having a party Friday night. Isak thought this could be perfect. They could go to the party, have some fun with their friends and then come back to Isak’s place for the night. 

He fired off a text to Even.

Isak: do you have your kids Friday or are you free for a party

Even: no kids what’s up

Isak: party at Mahdi’s place

Even: great, I’ll be there

Isak: maybe we could come back to mine, after

Even: Isak Valterson, are you propositioning me???

Isak: is it working

Even: ;)

Isak: is that a yes

Even: I guess you’ll find out on Friday <3

Isak set his phone down on his desk and let a huge grin spread over his face. It had been too long since he had tasted Even’s lips. Tomorrow night would put an end to that and he was giddy like a teenager with a crush. He would have Even in his bed and with all of the things he wanted to do to that man, they might not get out of bed all weekend! 

 

Even’s POV

The party was fun. He was having a good time catching up with everyone. He and Isak had arrived together, but no one had made a big deal about that. They hadn’t needed to stay together the whole evening, each of them mingling and talking to friends, but they would periodically gravitate back to each other exchanging private sappy smiles. 

Even had left to get refills and was coming back around the corner with a beer for himself and one for Isak, but he stopped and hung back when he heard his name. He knew that nothing good ever comes from eavesdropping, but when he heard Jonas’ question he couldn’t help stopping to listen. He had been wondering himself how Isak felt about him but had been afraid to ask. 

“So, what’s going on with you and Even? Are you a thing now?” Jonas asked Isak.

“No! Yes . . . It’s no big deal,” Isak shrugged his shoulders. 

“Come on,” Magnus urged. “I can see it now . . . the return of an epic love story!” Magnus flashed his hands like he was reading a giant movie marque. Mahdi laughed and gave Magnus a high-five.

“No, no, no. Not an epic love story. Nothing like that,” Isak scoffed. “It’s just casual. You know? It’s chill.” 

Physical pain speared through Even’s chest. Before he could hear any more heartbreaking news, Even made a big production of coming around the corner noisily. “Hey guys,” he greeted Mahdi and Magnus and then handed Isak his beer with a small smile. The most he could muster at the moment. 

“Hey Even,” Magnus clapped him on the back and Mahdi nodded and smiled. 

“What took so long,” Isak asked looking worriedly over at the corner Even just came from. 

Even seized this opportunity to escape and go lick his wounds in private. “Britta just called and I need to go home. She has a last minute thing that she needs to do for work,” Even glanced around the circle of friends as he spoke avoiding Isak’s eyes. “Anyone want a beer,” he held up his can. 

“Alright!” said Magnus snatching it from Even.

Isak pulled him aside. “Are you sure you have to go? I thought we were going to . . .” his voice trailed off and he smiled at Even. 

“Yeah, sorry. Another time then?” Even said lightly. He turned to the rest of the group, “See you all later.” Then he turned and left the party as quickly as possible, smiling and nodding at those he passed but not stopping to talk. 

How could he have been so stupid? Isak had never been serious about him. Isak was a Grinder type of guy while Even was Match.com. Better to find out now before more damage was done.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so very sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to this fic. Grad school and life conspired to kick my butt for a while. But … I am just back from Oslo and my writing has been reinvigorated!! The next chapter is written, just working on editing. I will try and keep a weekly posting schedule until done. I anticipate about 3 or 4 more chapters until the end. Thank you to all of you who have stuck with me! XOXOXO C-

Isak’s POV

Isak: Left the party early  
No fun without you

Isak: How’s it going? Maybe I could come down?

Isak: You must be busy with the kids  
Text when you have time

Isak: Are the kids in bed yet?  
I could come down

Isak: Are you still awake?  
Is everything OK Even?

Isak: I guess I’m going to bed now  
I’ll talk to you in the morning

Something was wrong. The sinking feeling in the pit of Isak’s stomach confirmed this. He hadn’t heard back from Even all night. He understood that the kids would take his attention, but they had texted on other evenings when Even had had the kids. Something was wrong, and Isak couldn’t sleep.   
He tossed and turned most of the night and got out of bed at 6:00 when he just couldn’t lie there anymore. After two cups of coffee and a hot shower, he started to feel human again. 

Maybe he could surprise Even with a picnic lunch if he didn’t have the kids all day. Isak decided to text Britta and see if she was done with her project. She would know when Even would be free. 

Isak: Hey, Britta  
When will you be done with your project

Britta: ???  
What do you mean

Isak: I’m just trying to figure out what time Even will be free

Britta: I’m confused, Isak  
He’s free right now  
I have the kids  
All weekend

Isak: Didn’t he take the kids last night  
He said you had a project for work you needed to work on

Britta: I’m not sure what’s going on with you two  
But I had the kids last night

Isak: …

Britta: What’s going on?

Isak: I don’t know  
He said he had to leave the party  
Because he needed to get the kids from you  
But then he didn’t answer any of my texts last night 

Britta: Did you have a fight?

Isak: No  
We were having a good time at the party  
I don’t know what’s happened

Britta: Jens is here  
I’ll run down and check on him  
I’ll let you know  
TTYL

Isak was not about to wait around to hear second hand what was happening. He threw on his shoes, grabbed his keys, and ran downstairs to Even’s apartment. He was standing outside Evens’ door, breathing heavily, when Britta arrived. 

Britta gave Isak a resigned smile, “Let me go in first, Isak.”

“Britta, come on. I’m not just anyone. I need to see that he’s ok. If he is just pissed with me for some reason, I will leave and talk to him later. But he could be hurt, and we are just standing here wasting time!” Isak protested.

Britta gave him a grudging nod, opened the door and stepped through. They kicked their shoes off and stepped into the living room. There was no sign of Even, so Britta called out his name. She moved down the hall toward his bedroom, while Isak decided to check the kitchen.

There was no sign of him in the kitchen either. The stove was cold and the coffee maker empty. He moved out into the hall and followed where Britta had gone. Isak stopped short in the doorway to Even’s room. Even was rolled up in the duvet, with his eyes closed. Britta had laid down on the bed facing him and she was gently brushing the hair back from his face. Even’s beautiful face was red and blotchy as if he had been crying. Isak couldn’t tell whether he was awake or asleep. 

“Is . . . is he awake,” Isak asked quietly.

“Isak, you should probably go,” Britta answered.

“What? What’s going on?” Isak was confused. 

“Isak Even’s ok. I’ve got this,” Britta urged.

Warring impulses flew around Isak’s head. He didn’t want to be awkwardly standing around doing nothing. On the other hand, this was Even. His Even. And every part of his body and soul yearned to comfort and help Even. He couldn’t just leave if Even was in pain. “Is it . . . are his parents?” Isak floundered to find a reason for Even’s sadness.

“His parents are fine. You need to go Isak,” Britta snapped.

“No, I’m not leaving. What’s going on?” Isak protested. He moved closer to the bed, longing to touch Even.

Britta took a deep breath preparing to speak again when Even spoke instead. “Leave it, Britta,” Even’s deep voice was hoarse and scratchy, and he spoke without opening his eyes.

Encouraged by Even’s voice, Isak reached down and clasped his ankle through the duvet. Almost immediately, Even bent his knees and drew his leg back away from Isak’s grasp. Isak’s chest panged at the silent rejection. “Even, can I get you anything? Some tea?” he asked in a quiet voice. 

“You should just go, Isak,” Even’s voice sounded tired and worn, and he still kept his eyes shut.

“I don’t understand, Even. What is happening?” Isak got impatient with his inaction and climbed onto the bed too. He crawled over to the other side of Even. “Talk to me,” he pleaded. Isak lay down facing Even’s back and tentatively rested a hand on Even’s shoulder.

Even turned and flopped onto his back, dislodging Isak’s hand in the process. “Look, it’s just not going to work out,” Even said without looking over at Isak.  
“What the fuck, Even! You don’t know that,” Isak protested. He wanted to just grab Even and shake him.

“It’s hopeless,” Even finally turned toward Isak and opened his eyes showing the despair shining out of them. 

“Baby!” Isak’s voice broke as he reached for Even but Even moved his hands to block Isak’s embrace. Determined to make him listen, Isak continued, “It’s not hopeless!” 

Without either man noticing, Britta slipped from the bed and tiptoed out of the room.

“It won’t work, Isak. We want different things,” Even closed his eyes again and this time tears leaked out and trailed down his face.

Isak’s heart hurt and tears gathered in his own eyes, but he moved his body closer and wrapped his arms around the duvet covered Even. He was determined. They had a second chance and he was not going to give up so easily this time. “What do you want, Baby? Just tell me, and I’ll fucking give it to you. Anything, Even, I’ll fucking give you anything,” Isak said fiercely. He pulled Even forward so that his head rested against his chest, and let Even’s tears soak into his shirt.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you have all had a merry holiday season, and have a very happy new year!! Also, fluff and smut and more smut ahead. C-

Even's POV

Even woke up warm and disoriented. His eyes were scratchy and his head ached. When he opened his eyes, his bedroom was in shadows. There was a warm body pressed up behind him, and a male arm wrapped around his waist. Isak’s arm. Isak was here with him! Even struggled to remember how that had happened. He remembered leaving the party. And he remembered his despair. He thought he remembered talking to Britta, but he didn’t know how Isak had gotten here. 

The arm around Even tightened and Isak pressed his face against Even’s back and nuzzled. “Even . . .” Isak’s voice was deep and rough with sleep.

Even rolled over to face Isak, Isak’s arm remained around his waist and anchored them together. Isak blinked sleepily at him. “What are you doing here?” Even’s voice was scratchy and rough.

Isak moved his free hand, that one that wasn’t wrapped around Even, up to cradle Even’s cheek. He slowly ran his thumb back and forth across Even’s cheekbone. “Where else would I be?” he whispered. “I’m yours Even. And you are mine. Whatever has gone wrong, we can fix it. I know we can.” 

Even closed his eyes against the pain of knowing that those words weren’t true. Fresh tears gathered in his eyes. Despair and hopelessness flooded his body. This wasn’t true. Isak didn’t want him. “No . . .” was all he managed to get out of his emotion clogged throat.

“Yes!” Isak said firmly. He brought his other hand to Even’s face so that it was cupped gently between his hands. “Yes, yes, Even!” Isak refuted. “Look at me, Baby, look at me,” Isak directed.

Even slowly opened his pain filled eyes to look at the beautiful man who was smiling at him. This man, this man that he wanted so much. He memorized each feature, not knowing if this was the last time he would see them. Those bright green eyes, framed by bold brows. The straight nose and sharp cheekbones. But most of all, his angel’s mouth, lips carved perfectly just for Even. The sharp and delicate lines of his cupid’s bow that fit Even’s own lips perfectly.

“Even!” Isak leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss against his lips, “Even . . . I love you.” Isak moved his face closer once again and this time gently brushed Even’s nose with his own.

Even closed his eyes and shook his head no, tears wetting his cheeks, “No . . . no.” 

“Yes, yes,” Isak said. He sprinkled kisses all over Even’s face, repeating, “I love you,” over and over. 

Even pulled back a bit and looked at Isak again. His brain was working furiously to process all of this. There was no way this could be happening. Isak?? Love him?? “But how?” he managed to get out.

Isak threaded his fingers into the hair at Even’s temple and gently tugged him closer, brushing their lips together tenderly before pressing more deeply and sweeping his tongue along the seam of Even’s lips. Even melted and parted his lips, and Isak slid his tongue inside to brush alongside Even’s. When Even moved his tongue in response to Isak’s caresses, Isak sucked Even’s tongue into his mouth. They broke away from the kiss, both panting heavily. 

“Always,” Isak breathed out, “I never stopped loving you Even!” Isak moved in for another kiss, but Even put up his hand to stop him.

“But you told the guys we weren’t serious. That we weren’t an epic love story,” the hurt still shown out of Even’s eyes.

“Is that what this is all about?” Isak asked anxiously. “You heard me tell the guys, we weren’t serious?” 

Even nodded, “You said it was just a casual thing. But . . . it’s not casual for me.” Lashes, still wet with his tears, framed Even’s eyes as he looked searchingly into Isak’s. 

“It’s not casual for me either,” Isak pushed the hair back from Even’s face and let his fingers trail back down to Even’s jaw. “I love you . . . I’m all in! I said those things to them because we hadn’t really talked about all this. The last time we had been together, you were worried about how this would work with your kids and I didn’t want to put more pressure on us by telling everyone else.” Isak traced a finger across Even’s lower lip and then pressed another kiss there. “But I’ll tell everyone if you want. I’ll call Magnus right now, and within ten minutes all of our other friends will know too!”

Even shook his head. “No, I don’t need that,” he said quietly. Even dropped his head to rest against Isak’s chest, listening to the steady beat underneath his ear. Isak’s arms tightened around Even making it almost impossible to move. “You love me,” Even breathed out.

“Yeah,” Isak replied softly. “How . . . uh, how do you feel about me?” there was a little tremor in Isak’s voice as he asked the question. 

Even moved back so that he could look into Isak’s beautiful green eyes. “It’s hard to put into words . . .” Even lifted his hand to trace his finger along Isak’s brow. “The first day of school, when I saw you – you captivated me. I had been feeling intimidated, alone and scared. I didn’t want to start in a new school. I was ready to turn around and leave. But then I saw you . . . my golden boy,” Even’s voice trembled with emotion. “I was willing to do anything then, anything to stay near you. Even start all over in a new school. And then I actually met you . . .” 

Even’s finger moved down and started tenderly following the curves of Isak’s lips. Isak swallowed hard and his Adam’s apple jerked. 

“I fell fast and hard for you, Baby,” Even’s voice deepened. “I loved you then and I love you now. I never stopped either . . .” Whatever else Even was going to say was cut off when Isak slid his hand to the back of Even’s neck and crashed their mouths together. Their kiss was rough and urgent and messy. Tongues tangled and their teeth knocked more than once. Although Isak had started the kiss, Even was soon eating at the other man’s mouth. Devouring him like a delicious dessert.

Desperation filled him. He needed all of Isak, and he needed him now! He tugged at Isak’s shirt, they had both fallen asleep fully dressed, wanting to touch his skin immediately. He slid his hands under the shirt and pushed it up, exposing Isak’s stomach and chest. Isak grabbed his hands and held them against his chest. “Even,” he panted, “Even, Baby! We have time. We can slow down.” 

“No, no,” Even bent his head and started frantically kissing his way down Isak’s chest. “I need you . . . I need to know, that we . . .”

Isak arched towards Even’s mouth, “Ah! Fuck, Even! Ah . . . we have all night.” Isak gasped and arched again when Even’s mouth met the waistband of his trousers. “Eeeeven,” he cried out as Even opened his slacks and licked at every piece of skin he revealed. Isak’s skin tasted like salt and sweat, and it was perfect but it wasn’t enough. 

Even looked up from where he was hovering over the bulge in Isak’s underwear, his hair was messy and hanging in his face but he didn’t bother to push it away. “I need to be close to you,” he said softly, “as close as we can possibly get.”

Isak’s POV

 

“Yes!” Isak was ready to agree to anything Even wanted. He was still flying high over hearing that Even loved him back! “Yes, we can do that. Do you have condoms and lube?” Isak asked, his mind busy playing out different scenarios. The one time that they had had full on sex when they were teenagers, Isak had been on the receiving end. But since that night Isak had only bottomed a handful of times. He wondered what Even would be interested in, and got distracted – caught up in picturing Even spread open and waiting for Isak to push inside. 

He was shaken from his daydream when he realized that Even had pulled away and was frowning. “Baby? What’s wrong? Wasn’t that . . .” had Isak gotten this all wrong? 

“I have lube,” he began tentatively, “and I bought condoms on Tuesday. But I don’t know if I bought the right kind. I haven’t done this in a long time.” 

Isak pulled Even up against his body, he needed to be touching him. “I have condoms. I’ll get them later if we need to. But we can start with the ones you bought,” he started kissing and sucking along Even’s neck enjoying the way the other man was squirming against him. He paused to take a break, “Okay?”

“Ok!” Even gasped when Isak grazed his teeth along a tendon. “Ok, yes” Even clutched at Isak’s shoulders and threw back his head. 

Isak let go of Even and sat up abruptly, “Well, first of all, we have too many clothes on! We need to be naked!” He kneeled up on the bed and drew his shirt off quickly. He moved off the bed and pulled his open trousers and underwear both off at the same time and then he was standing there naked while a gawking Even still lay on the bed. As Even’s gaze raked over his body, Isak felt his cock thicken and grow impossibly harder. He smirked down at Even, “Where’s the stuff?” 

“What?” Even shook his head, and licked his lips, “It, ah . . . the dresser, top drawer.” 

Isak quickly found the lube and condoms, along with a fairly girthy dildo that he left in the drawer for later. He turned and walked back to the bed noticing that Even’s eyes had been on his ass. “Even,” Isak chided, “You need to get naked too, Babe, or this isn’t going to work.”

The twinkle was back in Even’s eyes and he raised his eyebrows at Isak, “I don’t know about that. This is working very well for me! Why don’t you turn around again?”   
“Maybe you need some incentive?” Isak threw the tube of lube and condom wrapper onto the bed and then started crawling up the mattress toward Even. 

“What? What are you doing?” laughed Even, “Are you stalking me?” He smiled as Isak got closer and closer, but his smile faded as Isak ended up on his hands and knees, poised above Even.

Even’s earlier urgency had now been transferred to Isak. He dipped his head until their lips were millimeters apart, “I want to touch you, Even,” he whispered, their lips brushing together as he spoke, “I want to touch you everywhere. Take you apart . . . make you scream my name . . .” Isak was filled with the aching need to be one with Even. His dick bobbed as he spoke and dragged along Even’s shirt leaving a trail of precum. 

Even moaned beneath him, closing his eyes and arching his hips up. “Isak,” he whimpered. 

Isak leaned on one arm and used the other hand to push up Even’s shirt. He found Even’s nipple and began to lick and suck, enjoying Even’s moans and cries. Even leaned up a little, jostling Isak, frantically pulling his shirt off. Then he used one hand to direct Isak’s mouth back to his nipple and the other slid down the curve of Isak’s back and palmed Isak’s ass cheek. 

Even’s big strong hand caressing his ass sent shivers up his spine and pleasure to his already aching cock. Isak arched his back and pushed back into Even’s hand. Isak moaned around the nipple he was sucking on, “Yes, Even! Need you . . . need you to touch me.”

Even responded instantly with his own groan, as he moved both hands to Isak’s ass and started rhythmically squeezing and pulling the cheeks apart. “Fy fæn, Isak! I fucking love your ass!” Isak arched and pushed back some more, Even’s words affecting him as much as his touch was. “Made for me . . . made for me, Isak! You fit right in my hands!” Even cried out.

Isak was desperate! This felt so good and he didn’t want to stop, but he needed to feel Even too. And Even was still dressed. Too much cloth between them. Isak sat up and scooted back enough that he could reach Even’s fly. Even still held onto his ass and dug his fingers in tightly almost making Isak forget about his mission. Isak finally worked open Even’s zipper. “Lift,” he commanded with his fingers curled into the waistband of Even’s trousers and underwear.

Even had to move his hands to push his hips up off the bed, and Isak quickly pulled his clothes down to his knees. Isak took another second to grab the lube and then he settled back onto Even’s bare thighs. And then Isak stilled. Even’s hard cock was rising up from a dark blond thatch of curls, and it captivated him. 

“How . . . uh, how do you want to do this?” Isak asked tossing the supplies down and running his hands up Even’s chest, feeling each rib under the soft skin.

Even gasped, his lips falling open with the soft sound. He looked Isak in the eyes and reached up to pull him down so their chests were flush against each other. Skin stroked skin as Even wrapped his arms around Isak. One hand slid down to cup Isak’s ass and the other wrapped around the back of his neck to pull him down for a kiss. Even sucked on Isak’s lower lip before slipping his tongue inside. 

Isak’s dick was trapped between their bodies and he rocked his body enjoying the sensations. Even’s hard cock was sliding along his cleft as he rocked. Isak ached! He wanted so badly to ride Even. He hadn’t wanted that in a very long time, but he wanted it now. Feeling momentarily shy, he broke away from their kiss and buried his face in Even’s neck. “Want to ride you,” he mumbled. 

“Wha?” Even pulled his head back and tried to look at Isak, his eyes were wide and his hair was flying in all directions. “What did you say?” Even asked. 

“I . . .” Isak began, looking directly into his beautiful blue eyes. “I want you inside me. . . want to ride you,” he whispered.

Even closed his eyes and tightened his hands on Isak. “Are you sure,” he whispered back without opening his eyes, “we can do the other way too. Whatever you want.”

“No, that’s what I want. But, Even, why won’t you look at me?” Isak asked nervously.

Opening his eyes again, Even’s voice seemed even deeper when he answered, “You’re so fucking hot, Isak, I’m afraid if I look at you while you are telling me . . . that you want, me . . . inside you . . . that I’ll come before I can even get close to getting inside you!”

Even’s words fired up Isak’s passion, and he fused their mouths again, licking and sucking into Even’s mouth. While they kissed, Isak rocked and squirmed against Even’s dick, pleasure radiating to his own cock. Isak pulled his mouth back to gasp, “Even, I need you. Now!” 

He surprised Isak by pushing up and flipping them over so that Isak was now on his back. “Let me get you ready, Baby,” Even whispered as he kissed his way down Isak’s chest and belly. Isak spread his legs to make room for Even between them. When Even’s mouth reached his dick, Even sucked the tip into his mouth while he pushed Isak’s knees back exposing his tightly furled bud.

Isak was lost in the pleasure of the warm wet mouth wrapped around his dick and barely heard the click of the tube of lube. But the slippery strokes of Even’s long fingers against his rim gained all of his attention, and he pushed his hips up toward Even, seeking more sensation. “Fuck, yes, Even! Yes!” he cried out. Even’s fingers stroked while his tongue teased and Isak’s pleasure spiraled.

Even gently pushed one finger inside Isak, stopping at the second knuckle to check, “Is this okay?” 

He adjusted easily to the pressure inside him, but it wasn’t nearly enough to feel good yet. Isak arched toward Even’s hand. “Yesss,” he hissed, “need more!” Even pushed in farther and angled up his finger to search for Isak’s prostate. When his finger grazed the small bundle of nerves, Isak moaned and bucked his hips so hard he almost dislodged Even entirely, “Even!!” 

Even let Isak’s dick fall from his mouth and pushed a second finger inside Isak. Isak looked down his body and was mesmerized by the sight of Even. His hair was flying in many directions, his lips were red and even puffier from their kissing and the blowjob he had given, and his eyes and all of his attention was focused on Isak’s intimate opening. The feeling of exposure and knowing that Even was looking at him, heightened Isak’s arousal. Even’s mouth fell open and his tongue licked at his lips. He looked up and their eyes locked. “You’re so fucking hot, Isak!” Even gasped. Even slowly stroked his fingers in and out, teasing Isak’s prostate on each pass. Aching pleasure suffused Isak’s groin – pressure building in his dick, balls, and asshole.

He was close so close to coming, all he could do was seek the stimulation that would push him over the edge. High, whining noises escaped from Isak’s throat without conscious thought. He reached up with both arms to pull Even toward him, yanking him down blindly and fastening their mouths together.

“Aaaaah! Don’t stop, don’t stop!” Isak complained when Even pulled his fingers free. No, no, no! He was so close! 

“Just a minute, Baby! Give me a minute . . . and I’ll make you feel good,” Even urged while sprinkling kisses over Isak’s neck. 

Then Isak felt the blunt head of Even’s cock pressing against his hole. Even pushed in slowly but steadily, Isak focused on relaxing and accepting Even inside himself. It burned, but he breathed out and bared down.

When Even’s dick was fully inside, he paused and held himself still above Isak. He lowered his head and panted into Isak’s neck. Isak relaxed his muscles and tilted his hips, rocking against Even’s hard cock. That felt good, so Isak repeated the motion. Even pressed his mouth against Isak’s neck, “Isak . . . Baby, can I move?” 

Isak moved his hands down to Even’s ass and caressed the flexed muscles. He squeezed and pulled Even closer to his body. “Yes, god yes, Even,” Isak moaned, “fuck me, fuck me now!” Even pulled back slowly and pushed back in. “Yes, more,” Isak demanded, “faster!” 

“Gonna kill me,” Even gasped, even as he sped up and thrust faster. “So good, baby! So hot and tight around me,” Even moved his mouth over Isak’s but they were both so far gone that they didn’t really kiss, but instead just breathed into each other’s mouths. “I’m close, baby, not gonna last!”

Even’s perfect dick filling him and stretching him quickly put Isak back on the edge of orgasm. “Yes, yes, Even! That’s it . . . fuck, yes . . . harder,” Isak moaned and writhed under Even. His hard leaking cock was trapped between their bodies, and Even rubbed against it with each plunge, but it wasn’t enough. Isak reached his hand between them to wrap it around his own dick. God! He could feel Even everywhere! He closed his eyes and arched his neck, Even quickly latched onto it and raked his teeth along Isak’s throat. “Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!” Isak cried out. The pleasure and pressure built and built until it crested and Isak was coming hard. Pulse after pulse shooting across their stomachs. 

“Isak!” Even cried, and buried his head in Isak’s neck as he gave a few final thrusts and emptied into the condom. Even rocked back onto his knees and rested his cheek against Isak’s chest, keeping most of his weight off of Isak. 

Isak’s breath was ragged and his mind was whirling as he came down from his orgasm. He hadn’t felt anything like this in a very long time if he ever had. Even had wrecked him in the very best way. Maybe even ruined him for anyone else. Isak brought his hands up to hold Even close, one arm wrapping around his shoulders and the other cradling his head. Isak gently carded his fingers through Even’s soft hair, sweeping it gently away from his forehead. 

“Just give me a minute and I’ll move,” Even mumbled against Isak’s skin.

“No,” Isak refused, “I need you right here!”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you - to those still following this story. I am so sorry for the long delay in posting. I am absolutely committed to finishing this WIP, and anticipate about 3 more chapters until it is finished. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this sticky sweet, mega fluffy chapter with Isak being embarrassed and Amalia being adorable.

Isak’s POV

The slam of a door and voices startled Isak awake.  “Mali, wait!”

“Even,” he hissed as he sat up in the bed, duvet falling to his lap.  He looked over to see Even mumbling into his pillow.

Before he could say anything more, a blond whirlwind came running into the room.  “Papa, Papa! Are you feeling…” Amalia came skidding to a stop in the middle of the room.  Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, which would be comical in any other situation. 

In the background, Isak could hear Britta calling, “Amalia!  I told you not to bother your papa.”  Amalia gave no clue that she had heard her mother but just continued to stare at Isak.  He shoved at Even’s shoulder, hissing his name again, trying to wake him to deal with his daughter.

A big smile spread over Amalia’s face and she resumed her run toward the bed.  “Isak!  My Isak!” she squealed as she jumped up onto the bed and launched herself into the small space between Even and Isak.  “You’re here!” 

Isak clutched at the duvet, his only covering, as Amalia crawled over him to sit in his lap and give him a big hug.  “Uh . . . hi, Mali,” he floundered.  He looked to the side and saw Even’s face buried in his pillow and his shoulders shaking, betraying the fact that he was now awake. 

Amalia snuggled into Isak’s arms and rubbed her cheek against his chest.  “Uhg! That’s scratchy.  Isak, you’re furry,” she exclaimed.  “Not like Papa.” 

Even’s shoulders shook harder and muffled sounds of mirth were coming from his pillow.  Without dislodging Amalia, Isak took careful aim and kicked Even.  Hard. 

“Hey!” Even protested as he pulled his head from its pillowy nest.  An angelic smile graced his beautiful mouth as he rolled over to face them. “Good morning, Sweetheart,” Even said, his gaze encompassing both Isak and Amalia. 

“Papa,” Amalia cried happily, “My Isak is here!”  She held on to him even more tightly, as if he might be taken away from her. 

“Yes,” Even chuckled, “I can see that.”  His smile widened and his eyes danced as he looked up at Isak. 

“Sorry,” Britta spoke from the doorway.  She was standing holding Stian and the rainbow pony.  “We came down to get the pony, and Mali promised she wouldn’t bother you.  I guess she was worried though.”  He eyes fell on Isak and she smiled at him, “Hi, Isak.”

“Papa?” Amalia spoke up.  “Did Isak have a sleepover?” 

Even turned away and coughed to hide a chuckle, before turning back to his daughter, “Ah, yes, Mali. Yes, he did.” 

“Why didn’t he sleep in my room?  Since I was with Mama.” 

“Uh . . . well, Isak needed a big bed.  Like mine . . . er, because he’s tall . . .” Even trailed off. 

This time Isak was the one who had to stifle his laughter, but his amusement was short lived when Amalia once again turned her attention to him, “What happened to your pajamas, Isak?”

Isak gasped and turned red, silently appealing to Even and Britta for some help.  Instead of helping, Even was once again covering his face with his pillow and Britta was studiously looking out the window.  “Uh, er . . . they got dirty?” he suggested. 

“Did Papa’s pajamas get dirty too?” she asked earnestly, looking over to where her father still had his head buried in his pillow, but his bare shoulders were revealed. 

Her question set Even off even more and Isak could hear the sounds of snorting and choked laughter escape his pillow.  “Yes,” Isak’s squeaked, so he cleared his throat and tried again, “yes, his pajamas, too.” 

“Okay, Mali,” Britta interrupted. “Why don’t we go upstairs and have waffles?  They’re your favorite,” she coaxed.

“No!”  Amalia tightened her arms around Isak’s neck so much she almost cut off his air. “I want to stay with My Isak!” 

Even lifted his head from the pillow, his blond hair was falling in his face and he was smiling so big his eyes crinkled up.  “Go with Mama, Mali.  You can see Isak later.”  Amaila just shook her head and started to frown at Even.  “Come on, Mali, you know you love waffles,” Even tried to convince her.

“My Isak will make me waffles,” Amalia insisted.  She turned to face him and pulled her arms from around his neck, instead placing her small hands on his cheeks and looking him in the eye, “will you make me waffles, Isak?” 

Isak stared into the blue eyes, which were miniature versions of the ones he loved so well, and knew he was a goner.  “Of course I’ll make you waffles, Mali” he choked out, finding it hard to speak with his heart in his throat.  Amalia threw triumphant smiles in the direction of her parents before snuggling back into Isak’s arms.  Isak held her securely cradled in his arms and looked up through his lashes at Even. 

He had expected to see another smile on Even’s face at Isak’s failure to resist his daughter, but instead, he was met with a serious expression and an intense emotion shining in those blue eyes.  Even grasped the back of Isak’s neck and wordlessly pulled him in for a kiss.  His lips pressed and stroked Isak’s, and he was helpless to do anything but kiss him back. 

“Yay, Papa! Now me,” Amalie bounced with excitement bumping the men apart.

Isak thought maybe he was still asleep and dreaming as he watched Even lean down and give Mali a kiss while Britta smiled at them.  This all seemed so cozy and normal.  How was this his life?  He reached one hand and pinched Even’s side.

“Ow! Even jumped back a little.  “What the hell, Isak?”

“Language, Papa” Amalia scolded.

“I just,” Isak felt hot color fill his face as he stumbled through his explanation, “I thought I might be dreaming.”

“You’re supposed to pinch yourself then, idiot,” Even said with a fond smile before leaning in for another quick kiss.  Amalia was clapping her hands and bouncing up and down in Isak’s lap, so this kiss landed mostly on his cheek but it still set off fluttering butterflies in his stomach. 

“Mali,” Britta interrupted, “Why don’t we go make the batter so that Isak can make you waffles?”  When Amalia started to frown at that suggestion, she added on, “And he needs to find some clean clothes to put on.”  As she finished saying this, Britta turned and pressed her face against Stian’s hair and hiding her laughing expression from the three on the bed. 

“Papa can share his clothes, can’t you Papa?” Mali turned serious all of a sudden, “because My Isak needs some clothes, Papa.” She gave Even a stern look and poked Isak in the chest for emphasis. 

Isak watched Even take a deep breath and struggle for self-control, a fleeting smile crossed his face before he bit down on his bottom lip.  Isak groaned and almost lost his own composure as he thought about how many times last night he himself had bitten down on that lip. 

“Yes, Mali,” Even’s voice seemed deeper and rougher.  He took another centering breath before continuing, “Isak can borrow some of my clothes. Now go help Mama and we’ll come join you.”

Amalia gave Even a searching look, sizing him up, before turning back to Isak.  “You won’t forget the waffles?” she asked Isak.

Isak shook his head no as he solemnly replied, “I won’t forget the waffles. 

This seemed to appease her and she finally scrambled off the bed and over to her mother.  Britta bustled her out of the room and shut the door behind her.

Even lifted the duvet out of the way and pulled Isak flush against his naked body.  One hand held the back of Isak’s neck and the other palmed his ass cheek.  “I love my daughter very much, but right now I wish she wasn’t waiting for us,” he growled in Isak’s ear.

Isak relished the way that Even’s deep voice sent shivers up and down his spine.  He rocked his hips, luxuriating in the feel of Even pressed close to him. Even’s lips traveled down from Isak’s ear nibbling along his neck and stopping to suck at that spot that never failed to drive him wild.  Isak tilted his head back, offering his neck for Even’s attentions. One hand desperately clutched at Even’s head, his fingers threading through the soft strands, holding him right where he wanted him.

He was just letting the fingers of his other hand trail down Even’s spine when loud knocking on the door broke them both apart.  Britta’s vice reached them through the door, “You two better get your asses out of bed now, unless you want a four-year-old joining you again!”  


End file.
